Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Good to read if you have children

Got the following by email from a friend ! I like it and share with you!

Love,
Helen

How To Show Your Kids You Love Them

According to family expert Dr. Gary Chapman, most people express and recognize love in one of five methods: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Discover which of these applies to your child and show him love in the way that will mean the most to him. You will probably find that each of your children are different.

The following are some examples of how you can show your child love based on his love language:

Quality Time. While all children need one-on-one time with you, if you have one child who especially craves it, make sure you are giving that child plenty of attention. If he comes to you wanting to talk, make sure you turn off the TV and listen to him. If you know your daughter loves art, take her to a community art festival. Or if one of your children loves science, take her on a surprise trip to the zoo or children's science museum. If your child loves sports, take him to a minor league baseball game. You may even find yourself willing to take him to play laser tag or paintball. Stop and think of your child's interests and think of an activity that you can do together.

Affirmation. Some children thrive on hearing praise and encouragement. If your child seems to beam when you tell him how much you appreciate them or are proud of them, then try to continually think of affirming words for him. For example, if you notice your child is helping a sibling with homework, praise him. Or if he helps you out with dinner, let him know you are proud of him. Write him an encouraging note and put it in his lunchbox. And be sure to simply let him know that you love him for who he is.

Gifts. Sure, all kids love getting presents, but some children actually see gift giving as something beyond material objects. For them, gifts are expressions of love. You don't have to spend a fortune giving elaborate gifts to your child. Think of the little things that can become gifts. For example, if you visit a trade show or other festival, you are bound to be bombarded with free give-away pens and mini flashlights and gadgets. Save these for your child and dole them out over the next few months. Or if you are at the store, you might want to stop by the coin-operated game and candy machines and pick up a few small items. You might even find some good ideas at the dollar store. If you are creative, you can make some art or craft project for your child that he can keep in his room, or knit your daughter a sweater or scarf.

Service. If your child feels loved when you do things for him, think of some special acts of service that you can do. For example, if your child has a favorite food, be sure to fix that for dinner in his honor one night. Or if your child has a broken bicycle, repair it for him. You may even put a special snack in his lunchbox. Basically, if you see a need your child has, help to meet it, whether it be a new set of pencils for school or help with homework.

Physical Touch. Do you have a child who is a hugger? Is she always wanting to lean on you or hold your hand or snuggle? Even if you are not a "touchy-feely" person, your child sees affection as an expression of love, so be sure to give her lots of hugs. Even something simple as a pat on the back will let your child know you are thinking of her.

While each of your children will probably appreciate every one of these love languages to some degree, you will find that each one probably has a specific love language that is unique to him. So take the time to discover what makes your child feel the most special, and focus on showing your love through that language.

Visit FamilyMinute.com for more free marriage, parenting, family life and fatherhood information and resources.
Copyright by Family First 2007. All rights reserved.

No comments: