Thursday, December 16, 2010


We are leaving holiday very soon! My Robins is going to USA to see his father who is not so well. Me and my son are going up north of Thailand to my second house to be with my grand mother who is 95 this year (Chinese year).

This is not the first time my family are not together in this Chirstmas season. Once Shan was only 5 years old Robins was not at home but the Molly Jocobson's family took me and Shan to be with her family Christmas...... was fun!!! I still vividly remembered that day. Thank you Molly.

Robins celebrared Christmas with his shrimps for 2 or 3 years at the farms in Belize without us. In Bangkok he even goes to the office on 25th of December for each year of Christmas. That's mean 9 years of Christmas. I have no idea what the motive is..................? Wanted to be a good workers than a good family man? Who's knows?? I bet the office will understand if he is off on the Christmas day. For me if the office piss off, let it be as Christmas comes once a year and I have a good reason to be at home. (Remember my last blog??? Is this clearly as conditional love and care???).

I am starting to clean up my closets as many clothes which I do not wear them but hanging in there for a long time. Then I clean up my handbags. One of the handbags, in there some papers and cards that I even did not remember which I save it for more than 20 years.

I have Hong Kong residency card, my US embassy card, some cards and a very old old paper in that bag. I opened that very old frayed paper and look at it. It was my mother last letter to me which she wrote in the hospital. It hit me right a way back like a movie and it hurt!! Yes I read it again.

Here is what my mother said to me in this letter dated 25th May 1988.

"Dear Cca,

(Cca is my nick name comes from Rebbecca which my mother first choice but my father wants it as Helen)

Mommy can't eat nothing since Friday . It's real pain even just drinking water. The hospital can't find the reason why but mommy feel so weak. (Actually my mom knew she was not going to make it except our God's will. She was a nurse and seeing her situation, yes she knows!)

Such time as some one of the family is very sick, please understand the situation and understand each others. (My mom said that because I was with my step father and Moses, my little adopted brother, at home. I dislike my stepfather. Actually it was my fault he was nice to my mother but I just young and may be I can only accepted as a father only my real father and not him).

There is nothing impossible with our God. (Yes I am totally agree with my mom that God is in control but in thy will not in our will. Imagine that if we get everything what we pray for ??? We human will be spoil and God is not God anymore right??? i.e. if you pray for someone to hurt???)

Please keep special time and pray 3 times a day for mommy. (I honestly admitted here. I did not pray 3 times a day for my mother. I was faith without action situation. Think it back I just worried what will be happened to me if my mom pass a way. I was only 101 lbs as the worrying was killing me slowly also.)

Taking care of Moses too please! (Moses is an adopted son of my mother. He was just only 3 months. Now he is doing well in Germany by the blessing.) He is a baby and knows nothing age. (I even did not know how to make a milk bottle when me and Moses left alone at home. We were tiaking time like I was with my mom day time and her husband mostly at night)

Do not use money but save it only for necessary. Mommy does not know what will need for me. If you are so tired you no need to come and see mommy each day.

Write to Rangoon with attention Nang Kwoi for mommy please. ( Nang Kwoi, She is a Kachine woman who taking care of my grandmother and my 2 stepbrothers back in Rangoon.) Mommy hasn't get any news from her.


It was very sad and hurt me to read my mother's letter again. She died with many worries in her mind. I wish she see me that I am doing well with Robins (not perfect but very well), and a beautiful grand child, my son.

My mom worried about her 2 sons, my step brothers. She asked me to taking care of them. Yes me and some one is helping out till this year. Mom worried about her mother, my grandmother but now my grand ma is a nice place and very happy. A lady who trust in God that one day she will reunite with her daughter, my mommy.

She was very worried about me a lone in a brand new country but I was well taking care of our heavenly father. My mother last conversation with me was............ "Where is Robins??" Do not ask me why? I have no answer for that only my mommy can answer it.

PS. When my mother died I was still single.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Love with conditional or unconditional

Sometime people are talking about "Unconditional Love"! I might be wrong but for me this unconditional love is a kind of "Stupid Love"! Even people who believe in this unconditionally love, do you really think that they do practice in their real life???? Hell NO! Some use it as an excusing themselves.

I practice this way! I am trying to be kind, helpful and thoughtful but do not kick me I will kick you back or I ignore it. Not Christian way to say so but why I am the one have to be Christian and why not the other round some time?

As a cancer survivor I am still reading time to time some articles written by cancer survivors about how the relationship between couple, family and friends become so strong. It did not happened to me. I am so thankful that I am still with my son but there is always problem.

This unconditional love do not work after marrying 19 years to a totally stranger. Well such love never occurred in the beginning either.

Got my new liver after that the part of taking care of this new liver is so expensive. On top of that Insurance has no mercy. They increasing each year and my stranger said this year will cost him 70,000 US$! Yes family life become condition love in such problem.

I am getting so uncomfortable to live with someone who always say something which I can't not help. Hard to become a happy person knowing that someone you live with is can't even talk normal voice but angry voice with the angry face expression most of the time. Then turned around and asking me "Why are you angry??" Yes I am discomfort with unhappy people around me.

Unconditional love does not work with me if the person is.........

-Doing things as duty or responsible but not come out sincerely from the heart.
-Doing thing behind me without let me know.
-Cheating, trying to cheat or thinking about to cheat.
-Thinking about others more than own family (this including wife, son, mother, father, brother or sister)

Sincerely I admitt it. I do not love my husband uncondtionally love. Say even IF I have it before this will never last!

Christmas is ahead actually very soon. How can I celebrate sincerely for this very special occasion for me?? I was so happy to see our church paper said, "What Christmas means to God".

-what if this year at Christmas time, we concentrated less, on the parties and the shopping that bring headaches, strain and stress?

-What if this year we'd cut back on our lights an decorations, and spend more of our energy on faithful celebration?

-What if we took some time this year to travel back in thought, to a Holy Night in Bethlehem and the peace our Savior brought?

-What if we listen carefully for the angels' song at night, and contemplate the shining star that gave the world new light?

-And what if we all followed the path the wise men trod? Perhaps we'd start to understand what Christmas means to God!

For me only Christ has unconditionally love beside....... NO ONE ON EARTH!

Monday, November 29, 2010

The talk of Turkey eaters!

Last week was a Thanksgiving week! Normally I am one of those who talk like a Turkey....Glob, glob, glop and glob op op op! Not much meaningful talking on that table what we call it the "Thanksgiving Dinner Table."

So I said this year I will shut my mouth and just doing the observation only and see what the people are talking about on the turkey table? and......... I did!

This year, 2010, I attended 2 Thanksgiving dinners and 1 Thanksgiving lunch!

I am going to talk about Thanksgiving dinner first. The first dinner was at a friend of mine house. The Turkey cooked real tasteful and the guests who came to eat were colourful too. They are Thai, British, American, Cambodian, Burmese American around 15 people.

On that night a lady who sat next to me was talking about her children, a boy and a girl! Saying how beautiful her daughter is. Then this lady said she is a drummer player. Look at her may be she is 55 years old look. Then she talked about one of the "Shan Princess"... and said how stupid this Shan Princess is too. Can you image how I feel for that saying how stupid the Shan Princess is??? Here I am part of Chinese/Shan/Lahu blood.

Actually This lady was talking nonstop so I had a hard time to catch up with her. I do feel this.... Instead of talking stupid I rather be a listener of the stupid talks!!! How about that??

Then the two guys were talking about how Burmese Junta is/was doing. Then we move to the dinner table. On that Turkey table one was talking about business, one was talking about flying fighter plane, one was talking about Thai Language and one was not talk at all and I said, good for her!!

The other Thanksgiving Dinner table was in my own house. I did not invited much. I only invited my son's friend parent who are friends to us too.

We talk about their business, our families .......... ta ta ta ta ta! I would say normal dinner conversation too. I did not talk much as busy doing the observation. Deep down time to time I asked to myself how deep these conversation that people doing the talking on my Thanksgiving dinner table. But it was enjoyable dinner as not much people are talking the same time and we can hear well.

Then went to this the great Chinese Thanksgiving lunch! My favorite one. None of them are American except me. Even me I am just brand new American.

I have no idea what these my lovely Chinese group are thanking about but for sure we all were having fun and laughing too. Honestly I have no answer why they are celebrating "Thanksgiving" for.

What my Chinese girls friends were doing on that Thanksgiving day? Well they played "Marg Chon". A very noisy Game. I would say a Chinese game busy with little square blocks throwing in and out and they drank wine.

What I like the most was... after all meal with the belly full, someone starting to calculate and divided how much cost for each of them. I was so happy that they did not charge me. After all I was the honor of the guest??? Who knows??? I said to myself... "A very Chinese Thanksgiving!" A Communist way!! Everyone pay equal la.

I had read an article. It said, Thanksgiving is not religious ceremony but this is only for American people. Only half true! Actually this is Christian religion done by American and Canadian people.

I check out the meaning of Thanksgiving and it said, " A harvest festival celebrated primarily in the United States and Canada. Traditionally thanksgiving is associated with giving thanks to GOD for the harvest and expressing of gratitude."

You think it which GOD these American and Canadian are thanking for???

Me too I do have my way of thanksgiving day. For me is each day not only a day of the year. I thanks to my God for every meals that I have.

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Point Is...........

NOTE: Just a sharing not ill manner attached!!

I have been sleeping with the TV for more than 4 years now. Every night after my praying time I will put it on a movie then may be 15 minutes I pass out! Sometime the movie is still on when I wake up. Bad habit... I know, I know and I know it.

I am watching this movie, "1492 Conquest of Paradise" for one week but never seen the ending yet! Believe me do not do that if you are a married woman. It will destroy your marriage. Well not right a way but sooner you will see there is a big change into your life. I am not talking about only SEX but also the conversation! The bed room turn into no more meaningful conversation. The one who do the talking is....TV!!

When Robins's mother told us do not have the TV in the bed room... She knows what she was talking. Well.... a good son listen only what is good for him and I allowed it. I guess!!

So here I am trying to read more at night now on.

This is from my last night reading:

"Diana's ring a bad omen for Kate?" by Ami Angelowicz!!!

The writer was saying that the superstitious may think that 28 years old Kate should never wear the engagement ring of Lady Diana's as we all knew what happened to Diana.

The writer also said some believe jewellery can be cursed!! He did mention about the Hope Diamond, was not good luck for French royals. Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette were the last royals to enjoy the stone it was stolen and they lost their heads!!

Well.. correct me if I am wrong. I think the Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette lost their heads not because of the Hope Diamond. It is because they were having good times and did not think about the poor/civilians that much. He was a bed king and she was living in the woo la la land???

By the way I visited Paris last August and I am telling you... seeing the palace of these King Louis 12th, 13th, 14th , and 15th what ever the numbers is, it is hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Beside that Antoinette needed the summer houses, not house but houses!! I like her summer houses though! Nice.

As I am in Jewellery business... yes I agree as Ami said some thinks the jewellery can cause you bad luck, insane or the witches can come and get you because of what you are wearing. Then the other way round some people think the jewellery can prevent all those wired things.

Now to my surprise is... those who thinks and believe in that wired are not uneducated people at all some are very very educated people.

The most to my surprise is even those who are very religious but said they believe in witch, jewellery, fortune teller and gods too.

I have a friend who parent is very very religious. They pray 5 times a day. One evening visited, they told me that the blue Sapphire brought them bad luck! Inside me I was speechless because this family is a very lovely educated family and pray all the time.

Then another family who calls themselves they are a good XXXX!!! But what bothering me is...... they go to ask the monk when ever they wanted to check this person or that person is good or not for to be friend or to be a business partner for them. This is very bad to do so. To judge a person is not depend on that person's characters but depend on the monk's mouth??? My problem is the monk even do not know that person who they wanted to check!!! No FBI, No CIA, No detectives and No back ground check up but plainly depending on another human being's mouth who proclaim that he can see the unseen.

Time to time I do have special order that they must wear this kind of specific gem to wear in order to bring them "GOOD LUCK!"

I am not saying I am the best but I am so happy where I am standing for... "Trusting only in my GOD!"

I do not need the Gem, I do not need the Pastor to tell me do not make friend with this person or that (so far no Pastor told me yet!), I do not need a person who said he/she can see the future, I do not believe in witches nor future tellers.

Yes.. I do believe in Lord Jesus!

The points is.............. if you believe the gods that you worship can't protect you, would you be better drop that gods??????

I will end with this......................,

"Love your God with all you soul, with all your heart and with all your mind!!"

I love you my God. For me, there is no one above you!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Injecting vitamin C

Can't remember which day this week at lunch, a friend of mine said she is injecting Vitamin C for preventing cancer to come back! I am so interesting the topic of the conversation, " The "Vitamin C" injecting into your artery!!" And.... how could this prevent the other Big "C", the cancer???

Last Friday evening I went to join Robins' folks meeting at Shangrila Hotel. They were talking about Vitamins for Shrimps and Fish! Then the cocktail followed. Meet the famous Nutrition Doctor Thomas. I was so happy to see him as I wanted to throw the questions about Injecting Vitamin C into your artery.

Without surprisingly of course he said.. "I do not believe in it!". It is mostly beauticians' benefit. He did mention this and said... if not doing right it even can give you blood clod in the neck! Well... I understand what he is saying but did not understand the part of how it can cause blood clod??

Again as my curiouscity rise up..... I came home and I started to dug up about the Vit. C injecting into the vain. I have this the famous Google University and almost get my PhD.... ha ha ! And found many many many articles bout it. Of course there are some positives and more negatives.

Here are some articles that I wanted to share. Read it and tell me how do you feel about this injecting Vitamin C into your vain!!

Injecting vitamin c - Google Search: "Vitamin C Injection 20 posts - 6 authors - Last post: 7 Sep 2007
Injecting vitamin C is a very, very very bad idea with long-term effects that you may experience ten or 20 years down the line. ... - Cached - Similar"

Anti ageing treatments: the facts

For me I still stick into that eat right, eat moderate, eat fruit, eat Vege, exercise, no smoke, no excessive drinking and the big thing is try to be HAPPY!

The Satisfies and The Happiness is the main things that to look you good and young.

You look so beautiful but depress and drowning feeling will lead you to another DEAD!

By the way I am taking Vit-C 1500mg every day with other vitamin only by ORAL! According to Dr. Thomas, Vitamin C can easily go down with the pee pee.

I am not a doctor, I am a wife who read alot after my liver cancer!! Somehow I do believe in sniffing Oxygen than injecting Vit-C into your vain.

I remembered when I was recovering from Liver Transplant I did sniff Oxygen. May be in my mind but it did give me feel good and breathing better too.

Beside Vitamin C , I pray every nights that may God heals me because I trust God can do it easily if this is thy will! Again I said, Our mighty God never promise me that on one on earth won't die including me but he said, "Who ever abiding in me shall be safe!!" .... I just simply "Trust!".

Have a good read and thank you for poking my blog!!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

A Lady-Boy Blinded By Bogus Doctors

NOTE: click on it and read it!!

Pattaya Lady-Boy Blinded By Bogus Doctors

Back to 9 years ago when I got on the sky train I would see the Natural Beauty of many Thai girls. Now I think 65% of them have done some enlargement or reattachment?? Well, in Asia not much reduction on any parts of the body because Asian women, mostly we are small in everywhere!!

Every time when I get on the sky train, I have my own survey now. I look around me and see how many girls have done their nose or eyes or boob job. Easy to spot the nose job has done or not. You can see that there is a shinning line running through from between the eyes to down on top of the nose. Somehow do not match the rest of the face naturally.

Hey... I have nothing to against with the job. If this is happy for them, they should do it. When they look at their flat nose in the mirror and suffer, unhappy and unsatisfied... they should do something.

I do have flat nose and flat boobi but I am very happy with my property.

Lots of Westerner women like the big boobi! ie: Ms.Dolly ! The woman who is the country singer. Some like her boobi alot but for me they give her out of proportion and over huge for her small body. She looks like she has 3 headed woman. Sorry.. I just talking about the huge and the tiny ONLY without ill manners.

The boobi has two personalities. When you are young with the huge boobi it is ok.....still not bad yet. But when you are over 65 and with huge boobs then you look like an old monkey playing with two coconuts!!

We (women and men), all like to look good. Me too I am one of the human being I want to look good more over beautiful and attractive but.........over done will do you harm than look good.

Young people need to remember that they do have the power of youthness and should concentrating on the main core of "what is the real beauty" means!!!!!!

Have a good Botox doctor if you need one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Michelle Obama and the fashion

Michelle Obama is a beautiful lady! When she is ugly not her naked beauty but by the clothes she wears is make her ugly. For me she is never been as a sweet lady but tough and soft is her personality.

In this Photo I do not like her hair nor her blouse or her dress. what ever it is, this is a ugly blouse and very very old fashion? Her solders look much better than her hair and her face! She just look like the big Babara Bush Sr.

Now in this photo... may be her hair is the same style of the top photo but the dress makes the different! Thanks goodness she did not used the same necklace from the top photo also. The ear rings make her looks match as first lady. By the way why we Asian Women (Majority), Why we are so short?? Damn!!

Here in this photo I like her hair, her nail colours, her dress, her necklace every thing look beautiful. Michelle needs to be watched out her butt though. Seemingly her butt is getting bigger and bigger!

Here is another Michell's stunning photo! I did not see her behind so it is OK. I wonder with this shinning long skirt with this colour, I am not so sure that it is OK for a girl who has big fanny or not?? Normally Not good for the big behind. She is lucky in this photo. With this kind of long skirt is always look good on tall girls. Michelle is tall so her tall help her out here. Look at the Indian Lady, she looks real stout and shout!! I do not like her colour nor the way she looks at all. Do you all know that Indian women are actully no that fat at all. The dress they put on... trust me many layers under neat.

In this photo with her husband, she looks real real First Lady!! Do you all noticed that Michelle loves belts??? She loves to put on belt most of her appearances. Belt can be done as a wonder touch but it can give you a very tacky look.

If Michell is my sister, I will tell her that ditch this dress! Oh how ugly is here. Not hers at all. The top cover looks so mighty small and her down part look sooooooooooo big! The twiggy right infront of her belly is suck too. I will fire my beauty adviser if she wants me to put on this clothes.

Oh Michelle....... Ma Bella? Quest a vous fiet?? Here she is over joy!!
Come on Michelle.. You are in Bollywood and you suppose to dance Bollydance. But instead here you want to show off your African back ground. What to call that?? African Heritage??

You both look NOT so Brat Pitt and Jolie here but you both look very happy. Michelle look so huge though!!! I really hate to see this dress on her body. Her arems look big, her legs look big, her bottom look real real big. Sorry!!!
Over all Michelle always looks OK because of her height. Tall people have this advantage of clothing.
One of my teenage dreams is.....
"I want to be First Lady too.!!"
I am happy as Sr. VP's wife for the moment but might be promote to CEO's wife soon if this is God willing!!! Hope Our God guides every part of Robins's future life.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Forgive or Forget!

We have heard many times that people are saying:

- Please try to forgive and forget about it.
-Take a deep breath before you blow it out.
-Wards won't hurt you. (Actually it does hurt badly)
-Walk out.
-Pray for them.

People just say it but how much they mean about it? I have no idea.

For me I wonder how much mean to you when you say "How are you?". Then how much you mean it when you answer like, "Fine and thank you". Yesterday our pastor said some people answer "I am good!!" and he continued what is mean to you for saying, "I am good!". What is Good? Your health is good or you are good?

I just want to point it out that when you say "pray for them"... please mean it.

Very interesting happened to me yesterday at the Church!

Someone said he was so Christian that he forgive the man who put him into Jail in Bangkok. He said he is praying for him. I can believe that he is praying for him but I can't understand why he did not explain us for what reason he got put into Jail??? Depend on the reason... may be he needs to pray for himself for forgiveness .

When my mother got pregnant (actually I was in her belly), at 14, for sure my grandmother was hurt. My grandfather was so mad that he throw my mom out from his house in Keng Tung. My grandmother still talking about my father that how he was so bad that make my mama got pregnant!

Then if you ask me what do you think about my mother got pregnant such a very very young age? I would say... Why not? Because of them I am here (sound a bit selfish right?), but sure I am quite please that I am here. On top of that I got Robins and I make my only child Shan. I love them both.

But see the following news and tell me how much you can forgive.

News Said: "Vienna, Nov.4 (Xinhua)

Doctors in Austria removed the healthy kidney from a cancer suffer earlier this week, leaving the affected kidney, authorities said Thursday."

Then also said: "The doctors now can only try to remove the tumor and , if unsuccessful, the infected kidney will have to be removed and the patient spend the rest of their life undergoing dialysis three times a week."

Then see what the news said:"Data showed the occurrence of removing healthy organs happened occasionally in Austria."

Now my question is if you are this cancer patient will you forgive the doctors and pray for them??? Now do not jump into easily saying.."Yes....I can and I can!!" Sure some people can but some people can't. May be 2% can forgive and 98% might want to kill this stupid doctors. REMEMBER HERE the news said not only doctor it's said doctorS!!!

I honestly need to admit it here one thing. Remember I am talking about the doctor who make mistake on my tumor?? Missed the tumor and hitted my kidney???

I do not pray for him. I do not hate this doctor but he is not in my prayer list! I am worry that he will do the mistake repeatingly. But see this how our mighty God works on me.

If this needle poked my tumor, the cancer cells will spread it out.

Let me end this blog with this.................

"For you created my inmost being; and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139: 13-14

Saturday, November 6, 2010

YES.......... is the answer of me!!

NOTE: Please feel free to Read or Stop!!!

Is Jesus God?
Scholars examine the facts about Jesus' claims to be God

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Stoning Part 2

NOTE: Here is the movie that I am talking about!

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Stoning

PS: I have no intention to talk about religion base on this blog! This is purely about the movie!!

I never ever walked out from watching the movie in my life. But.... this movie "The Stoning of Soraya", I can't watch it any more. I had to walked out to the toilet and closed my ears. Then the next day I like to know hows the movie ended so I talk to myself.. "Helen, this is only in the movie and watched the ending part!!"

So sad, so disgusting, so amazing and so unhappily ending movie.

What bother me is this..... the movie is based on a true story.

Here some parts of critic on this movie by Cibbuano!!

"by Cibbuano

- written in 1994, it describes the true story told to a French-Iranian journalist as he was passing through a village. Told by Soraya's aunt, the story unravels the deceit and lies told by the men in the village, using the convenient charge of adultery to stone Soraya to death.

What was Soraya's charge? The movie is quite one-sided on this: she was falsely accused by her husband, who only wanted a divorce, but did not want to pay her to support herself. Using his connection with the corrupt local mullah, he convinced the men in the village that she was a lusty woman, mostly because she smiled at a widower."

For that smiled to the opposite sex, she got the punishment of stone to dead!!

I am so glad that I am living in Thailand! Thailand is calls "The Land of Smile". Me too I mostly smile at people around the world (may be except those forbidden to smile countries), specially in Thailand because people around here are so friendly and happy people.

If I will get the punishment of stoning because of smiling at someone, I will be dead by long time ago! Well....I might die with the smiling face as I like to smile. On top of that I like laughing and I laugh alot. Hummm for just smiling you get that bad punishment right?? I wonder what kind of punishment for laughing like ha ha ha ha with the male friends???

I guess in some countries you have to walk with a very angry faces! What a life???

Somehow this remind me when I was in Burma years! In Burma you can NOT kiss (Simple kiss nor Franch kiss), in public! But as an exceptional, you can kiss your wife or your lover or your partner who ever in your own House or University Compound or Movie Halls or in the Zoo!!

In Rangoon young people go to the zoo are not to see the animal at all. 80% of those people in the zoo are just for to KISS your lover freely!!!

There is no stone to dead in Burma though.

Then today I read this:"Iran woman could be stoned to dead soon!"

Yeah right another one!

By the way I do believe in punishment from the government though. ie: Ted Bundy!! I think he was the most cruel man on earth to kill 30 ++ women by his own pleasure on the sickness of him.

Here I want to point it out between this Iran woman who is just about to stone to dead and Ted Bundy. She was committed "Adultery" which is she is not acting along. To be an "adultery woman" you need a male partner...don't you??? Right???

OK as the way they believe that this woman must die by stoning but how about the man she had fun with??? What is for this man's punishment?? 3 days in Jail?? If the punishment is equal to the man and woman I would try to understand it but now I can't UNDERSTAND!!!!

Why the woman must stone to dead and the man is still breathing??

SAD and UNFAIR is I see here.

Now back to the movie......... "The Stoning of Soraya"

This is how the movie ended. The first to stone at her was her own blood father. Of course he throwed the stone at her as missed direction, did not hit her. How could a father do that? NO!

So the second person to thrown at her was her own husband who want her to die in order to get married to a 14 years old girl without child support to his first wife. That is the motivation of this ugly man. He stoned at her right on her head!!

Then the third persons to thrown at her was her own 2 sons! Speaking by the blood the 2 sons do not want to do it but by force they did it. Without a doubt I say that they live this moment in their whole lives!!

Then all of the male villagers thrown at her with thousand of stones till she die. Then there was a party at the village too.

Here we are 2010 but what kind of punishment is this?

Ted Bundy die with peace and in sleeping position.

Soraya die with pain and in waist level buried position.

I did check out about the stoning punishment and this is what I found: Both in Judaism or Islam, the Stoning are not written in the Koran nor Jewish bible. "It is Oral Law."

NOTE: Do not have sex with other's women in Afghanistan, Iran, Nigeria, Somalia, Sudan and Saudi Arabian!!! You will get the pain and slow to dead by stoning. Also reading about you can't be GAY or LESBIAN in those countries too.

Friday, October 22, 2010

People in Bangkok

Came to Bangkok 2002. Nice and big was my first impression!! Bangkok is another city which is never sleep! We have every thing except Atom Bomb and The Rocket go to the moon. Well you never know we might have that too in future. The Rocket go to the moon??? Who cares there is nothing on the moon right?

I am not going to blog about the good, the bad and the ugly in Bangkok. I want to blog about people in Bangkok. Bangkok is a cosmopolitan out look city.

There is a cinema complex call "Major". What ever new movies show in US, after one or two days, the movies are here in Bangkok too. Sometime the DVD of new movies which are even not showing in any cinemas in Bangkok yet but you can get it on the street. Yes...... 100% clear.

I have no idea how they get on Bangkok street. Some of them are very clean movies but what bother me is you can see the line on the screen and it said "This is only for Oscar Award Purpose only." Well too bad they are on the street in Bangkok! We are the Oscar Members too I guess!! Sorry.

Two days ago I was at the Major Complex to get some KFC for our dinner. I know I know it is bad. As I give all my helpers on Sunday is their holiday I cheat my cooking on Sunday. Hey hey but only sometimes not always. By the way try it KFC with home make mash potato.... It is good!!

When I was lining in to get the KFC there were a Muslim girl was behind me. She looks like her late 30. Whe I turned my head she was smiling at me. She has her burqa on it. She is a beautiful woman slim with the fine face. NO joke yes she is good looking.

She said to me, "Hello" . I was thinking Oh very friendly too. So I greeted her back, "Hello, how are you?"

The line was quit long as on Sunday. So we 2 women exchanged the conversation. One point I asked her, "What bring you to Bangkok?" and she answered to me, "My husband is working at the Suvarnabhumi (spelling??) air port". Then I asked here," Where do you from??" . She said to me, "Oh I am from Iran!!"

I was eating Korean food in Emporium Mall. I like Korean food you know. I like "Kyap Chair" (glass noodle what ever they do with it), and "Kim chee" too. Some restaurant they give you kim chee the size of your eye balls. I end up asking to fill it up.

So when the little waitress girl passed by me I said to her, "Can you give me more kim chee?" . She answered to me very politely and said, "Ka" . Then she walked back to the cash counter, with high voice and said, "Hey that "Bour Daw" wants more kim chee." (In Burmese which is I understand very well).

"Bour Daw" in Burmese means "Old Lady"! Of course I do not like people calling me Bour Daw so I waved at her and said to her with very sweet little voice IN BURMESE, " Do not call me "Bour Daw". I won't give you a good tips!!"

She covered her mouth with her one hand and went... "He he he he he he sorry sorry ma ma!" (Ma ma means Sister!)"

Can you tell me what Language is the "he hee he hee he heee"???

That's what happened in Bangkok to me!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


There are 2 kinds of women. As I am a Christian woman lets me put it this way...... Mary and Eve kinds of women!

Mary, earthly mother of Christ and she is nice!
Eve, the one seduced Adam to eat fatal fruit and sin!

I want to talk about EVE today!! If I am wrong please share what is your thinking about her also.

We know Mary is good and Eve is bad. For me Eve is easy to fall for sin and Adam is stupid enough to eat the fatal fruit knowingly he got told, "Do not eat fruit from this tree!!" (" shall surely die" (Genesis 2:16-17)"

Thinking about it... even on earth there are some fatal foods that you are not suppose to eat. ie: Some Mushroom, blow fish!! We still have huge freedomly choice of to eat OR not to eat those fatal food.... don't we???

Why Adam eats the deadly fruit? Some said, because Eve attempted him to eat!

Why Eve blames Adam? Some said, Adam was made out of DUST! Doesn't take much time to think about what is right and wrong. Do it now and sin it later type!!

Well how true, you think it yourself!

For me: God told them "Both" that "Do not eat this fruit!" right??? So they both sin together and can't blame one to the other. Can't blame Eve nor Adam! If you sin you are sin NOT he or she makes me do it!!!

I read about "Adam and the fruit!" by SirDent's blog. He wrote as he was in Adam's place and talked about how He, as Adam struggled the love between God and Eve. Interesting!!!! Google it and good to read though.

Well nowadays how many Adam Men on this earth who love blindly their wives? Not Much.....

There are many temptation on this earth. It all up to us!
Lets see this. I know my marriage is not always rosy road. I know Robins loves me and I love him. But say.... One day Robins comes to me with the sweetest face of him and said, "My darling Helen, please eat this blow fish (the one not taking out the poison bag!!), if you really love me".

I will say to him, "You are trying to kill me and I will call the police or call 911 as soon as I can be!"

Use your brain which God puts it up in the head for a good reason so use it nicely folks!!

Let me end with this:

"For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book (Bible), if any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto these him the plagues that are written in this book:
And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."

Revelation 22: 18-19

PS: I am not the sinless person but trying hard to use my brain to act accordingly right with the help of Our Mighty God. I love you my God.

Monday, October 18, 2010

View on Masturbation

NOTE: I am not a doctor nor masturbation specialist. But read this as a health view.

One of my good friends presented me a book calls "Everything Menopause Book: Reassuring advice and the latest information to keep you healthy and sane by Samona Slupik, M.D., F.A.C.O.G.,"! By the way I should say that it is a good book and women who are in menopause should read it!!!!

Now wait a minute... I am not menopause yet. I might be in perimenopause.

Lately I got this hot flash run different parts of my body. Strange, I had this hot flash right after I got my new liver 4 years ago but stayed with me only 2 days and never came back till last 3 months ago!! That's mean after 4 years.

I do not have birth certificate but now by the creation I can tell I am approaching my middle age.. I guess!!

I look up exactly the meaning of masturbation (why I looked up about this I will tell you later), and it said,

"Erotic stimulation of one's own genital organs, usually to achieve orgasm. Masturbatory behavior is common in infants and adolescents, and is indulged in by many adults as well. Studies indicate that over 90% of U.S. males and 60 – 80% of U.S. females have masturbated at one time or another."

You know I never ever been to the hospital except these two occasions. One was when my son was born (C section as he was big 10 lbs boy), and the other was my "liver Transplant" . I was healthy and living right till this huge thing hitted me. So... I am not interested to read about health BEFORE but now I am so careful about health and read about health MORE and MORE!

Most Asian women did not talk about masturbation at all. We used to think it was a dirty and shameful thing to say or to do. I am an Asian woman so never talk about it before but now a very health concern woman I will tell everything about it to my liver coordinator and to you.

Right after living with new liver, I should say around 2 years, my asexuality desire went up. I did not tell to no one as thinking this is shameful. Then the other round I thought my body screw up and worry that what is happening in my body. Main question, "Is my new liver OK??"

Now after 4 years I asked my coordinator this question last year. With all my energy taking OR I should say with very bravely face OR uncomfortably I asked to my liver coordinator...

"Is there anyone complaining about their sex life gone crazy after new liver??"

The answer was...guess what?? Of course "YES!!"

Coincidentally I read about masturbation as a part of the book which my friend gave me. (Now you know why I blog about masturbation!). It said (To those women who are in Menopause Lives),

"Many Doctors and sex therapists encourage their patients to masturbate to increase their ability to respond to sexual stimulation and to combat stress and anxiety!!"

Now I thought I have to research on masturbation how this effected on health view. I read more and found the following (Purely my own curiosity). It said,

� May help to reduce stress and release sexual tension
� May help a person become more comfortable with his or her own sexuality
� Masturbation eliminates the potential for pregnancy or transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.
� Being self-aware of one’s body and sexuality may better prepare him/her for sexual activity with a partner.

� Frequent and vigorous masturbation may produce skin abrasions or superficial bruising/temporary discoloration.
� Masturbation may become an obsession or addiction.

Masturbation may become an obsession or addiction which is generally felt to be the case if it reduces time available to participate in other activities (i.e. social relationships, job, work). This may lead to diversion of income toward sex merchandises (i.e. videotapes, chat rooms, online pornography, phone chat lines)."

-I did not know that masturbating can be addicted that bad till I read about it!
-I did not know that masturbatory behavior is common in infants! Or should say almost to everyone!
-I did not know that lots of people in USA are masturbating until I read about it!!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Inner Peace

I am trying to understand what is Inner Peace.

Wikipedia said, "Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and happiness."

So it mean, mentally and spiritually at peace right? My question is how could I find both together.

Lets see people/things around me.

Husband: No trouble. Feed us well, give us well and he sleep real well too. But.... I have no idea about him that his body and his spirit are still attached or not. He looks like Robot!!! We have been married to 19 years. Those who are married to this long know how things changed. Without a lie I can tell you that.... how strong our thought, respect, priority and love between us. Can't answer you that.

Thanks goodness that I still can read some about him. I know he wants to be the best of his career life. He wants to meet my health's bills. These 2 points, he still showing that how important for him. How I know it?? Because he act and show me clearly that it is his center point!! Talking, taking, spending, thinking time about family, I have no idea which stage he is in.

He is not my both mentally and spiritually inner peace at all.

My son: He is a lovely child. Now at 15 he is fighting with his teenage life. All the mothers know what I am talking about! He has his own strong point of views now. He doesn't want to talk too much either. The computer is his world. Honestly my family doesn't do much together anymore. Do you think just playing tennis on Saturday only will keep the family together alive??? I don't think so.

My son can't help my inner peace either.

My father: As I told you before he is not much in my life. I love him but how deep??? I can't answer it because he was not in the picture of my childhood.

My father can't give me inner peace to me.

My grandmother: Thanks God for this lady. She faced the worst of her life. Lost her daughter and her grand daughter (my sister), both in a short years but still have faith said, "When God calls me I am ready. I will see them both (my mother and sister), I am not worry."

She is a lady always laughing. Complaining is not her style. Sailing her life so lightly and happily with her faith. She knows clearly who her Captain is!!!! A lady who loves God and yes.... she share me where to find my inner peace.

Me: I try to be a good mother and a good wife. I am not a flawless diamond but some inclusion in it! But I know what I want. What I want is a happy, healthy and a meaningful family. Now more and more getting hard to reach that Happy Family picture.

I do worry. I worry about my son's education because lately he was telling me that he doesn't want to go to boarding school in US but I can't raise him in Thailand. He must go!!! He must grown up and see the real world. Life is not always with Driver, Maids, and me, the mother. He has been bless by all comfortable life. Everything is ready in front of him. But for sure this will not give my son inner peace. I am sure for that!

I worry about how my son is going to face this real world.

I worry about my 2 step brothers (the most)....Food!!

I worry about my health future! (Only my Christ knows!)

This is what I lean how to get a mentally inner peace. "Just shut the mouth will work for me."

To get my spiritually inner peace.....

Sometime we all feel that we are up against a wall, struggling with a decision, situation that make us so down and feel bad. Sometime I just want to run from everyone and be myself then..... I know this won't work either.

2 nights ago, I read my prayer devotional book! It said, "Turning Point, a decision to turn things around."

The book asked these questions...
-What if Noah had told God, "I don't do boats!"
-What if Joseph had not forgiven his brothers and failed to protect them from the life-threatening famine?
-What if Jesus (God in human flash), had refused to die on the cross?

You answera them yourself!!

For me here is my best way to get my inner peace..........

"Surrender becomes victory when we yield to God."

"I will stand my watch and set myself on the rampart, and watch to see what HE will say to me." Habakkuk 2:1

PS: I am so thankful that my family still do pray together on Sunday. For me sure because of that I am still having this family!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Chichi peralta - procura

Thank you so much to all my readers! Just checked it and many of you are reading my blogs. I will be back but now enjoy the CHICHI and dance it off! I did.....

Lately I am not so happy and need time. I might go somewhere for to get a fresh air to fresh me out too.

Have a good time with this music!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Cheating Part 3

OK this is the final blog of Cheating.

Some high position expat men working in Asia, they base in Bangkok with their families. Like my husband, we stay in Bangkok but he has to go all over the world including Asia and sometime as far as to South America. So I can say they all have more or less so many same accidents, same stories in their lives. Good and Bad both I should say.

The following story is take place in China!!

Lets call him "Mojo"!!

Mojo is holding a good position in a big company in Thailand. He has to go all over the world. One of the destinations Mojo needs to go is.... to Hinan Island, in China.

I haven't been there yet but according to people who had been there said, it has beautiful beaches and also many beautiful bitches too.

This is what happened to Mojo in Hinan Island .

Most proper hotels in every where they always have extra pillow in the closet. More over you can even find extra blankets...... Right? But not all hotels have extra pillow in China. Not at all!!

One evening after hard working and heavy meal Mojo got a call.

The caller said, "Sir do you need extra pillow?" Mojo thought what a nice friendly hotel so he said, "OK please....thank you!"

Mojo waited and waited and..... after 3o minutes someone knocked the door. Mojo thought well finally here comes my extra pillow. Mojo opened the door but not hotel worker with the extra pillow but was a young girl standing in front of Mojo's door!!

The girl was wearing a very short skirt and her blouse was way low cut neckline just barely covered her nipple!!

Mojo said to her, "Hello, I think you knock the wrong room!"

The girl said Mojo, "No no no no NOOO. You want pillow! MEEE Pillow. Me pillow" as pointed to her chest and keep saying repeatedly "Me Pillow. Extra Pillow!"

Then... Slow Mojo got the point. Of course I think Mojo is not that dumb as holding for a good position of job. The only thing he has to do is think fast!!!!

OK the story teller stop there. I have no idea what happened to Mojo and his extra pillow on that night. ???????

I am thinking.... Will Mojo said, "I am sorry. No, Thank you!" OR

"Oh yes... I want two extra pillows!".

If Mojo is a married man, lets hope he knows how to say NO even his family is far 1200 0r 4000 miles away.

The bottom line... We all write our own history.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Cheating Part 2

Lately when I wake up I did not say "Good morning" to my husband. The question is....Why not? The Answer is.... Because he even can't give me a proper regular "Good morning kiss" to me any more. He Rush to the office, rush to the coffee, rush to the car, rush to eat and rush to just about everything. Now I am starting to think what he is rushing for!

This is what I say to Robins in different morning,
-"Look, don't you dare to cheat me."
-"You behave!! I will hire the private detective to follow you." (Cheap in Bangkok but they do the good job too)
-"You have mistress??"
-"Are you testing your ability?"
-"I need to see the financial report each month."
-Bla bla bla

NOTE: To my knowledge Robins hasn't cheat to me. In 19 years marrying and living with him, he is still acting well. Back home by 6 pm evey days to be with us except when he goes to all over the world which is often. So should I say NOT YET!!!

The reason I bring up about "Cheating" is........,

Way back when I just arrived to Thailand I went back to school to become a Gemologist!! We had 15 people from all over the world.

Madeline (not her real name), is from France and she was my diamond classmate. She had been married to her husband for 25 years (??) and went all over the world as he is working for the French Government. To make the story short, when he got posted in Thailand and right after one year he cheated on her with a young Thai girls. Not once but twice!! She kicked him out.

Latest news is... he is living in Thailand with his young wife by the religion married ceremony only even his divorce paper is not reach in the final stage yet. He is not young but an old fart!! I give him 2 years and he will end up deep @#$% or sleepless in Thailand.

Now back to my expat wives party last week. (see my last blog)

In our table, I did not know how the conversation started but suddenly the well know CEO's wife was talking to the XXX Director's wife (who just arrived to Bangkok 2 weeks), that not to leave her husband alone in Thailand! The CEO's wife has the reason to say though.

The CEO's wife said, " You know one of my friends's husband divorced his wife after many many years for the girl who is younger than his own daughter. My friend is so nice being as his good wife, as a good mother. She is simple and why my friend deserved this..."

I think the man is around 60 an old fart! I give him 2 years too. He will be broke and misery till he leaves this world.

Then last week I went to my son school for parent morning coffee meeting. There's a lady she is from Argentina. She was telling that her friend's husband left her for another young Thai girl. He is late 50 and for me another old fart! I give him 2 years also. he will be very regret when his sex life die down.

If I blog about how many men end up cheating their wives, there will be next 15 blogs more to finish cheating stories in Thailand. Oh yeah I know it is happen all over the world but what I want to say is.... what is going on and on in Thailand.

Deep thought.....

I have some questions...

1. A man wants to cheat, he will be cheating anywhere right? It is up to individual or not?


2. The fashion in Thailand?


3. These men are back in their own country they are just nobody and they feel somebody in Thailand??


4. Back home they are mostly Blue Collars and here in Thailand they thought they are Superiors?


5. Being so old fart that can't help their own old age and just behaving real bad!!

All these questions are base on the "Old fart men and young girls" stories!!!

Monday, September 27, 2010


Yesterday I was in the Church! Sunday is my worshipping day because I have appointment with God. I like to keep my appointment!!!

This is what I believe......

God gives me 7 days in a week! From these 7 days, I always keep my appointment with my Lord Jesus Christ on SUNDAY unless I can't move. I have lots of time for what ever I need to do on the rest of 6 days but on Sunday I do need to let my God knows that what is on my prayer list. I know God can help in thy time and thy date. I have been enjoy having conversation with my God.

In Good time or Bad time, God is always Good!!

This week I watched 2 movies.... "Being Julia" and "Sylvia". Oh big mistake...... both movie make me so depress. "Being Julia" is fun with depress but Sylvia is sad and depress!!

Being Julia......

The woman, Julia has affair with almost the age of her son even she has quit nice husband. She is famous, she has money, she is good at what she is doing but not happy after her toy boy dumped her for the younger woman. The movie end with she showed every one that she is still in control.


She met her future husband when she was in collage. They married, had a short time of happiness. She become well know poet writer. The husband cheated with her married friend. Mean time she fall into depression (Which made me so depress just watching her in the movie too), so bad and so bad that she end up killing herself. Sad movie!

Co accident or reality, I don't know but lately I got news that old men are cheating on their wives.

Last week went to the party. Full of expat wives. I was sitting next to the XX company CEO's wife. Next to her Japanese, next to her new arrival Chevron Director's wife next to her was sitting Mexican woman, next to her was a housewife, then wine distributor and ME, the shrimp farmer wife!!

To be continued please see tomorrow blog! Cheating Part 2!