Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Shan and his ma ma, me!

My son turn 15 today! Happy birthday to Shan!!

My son was born in Central America on 31st of August. He was born weight 10 lbs and tall 20". One luggage of his baby clothes were never being used. I end up came home with him a clothes from the hospital because he was a big baby. He wear the size of 3 months old baby clothes when he was born.

I think I did mention it before one of in my blogs that I got this boy after 3 years of my married. I thought I will never become a mother but surprise surprise..... I got him and I thank to my God Jesus for this beautiful boy. One of my big blessing!!

Shan is now speaking 2 languages and he understand Thai better each day. His first word is "Ma ma" and second, "Aqua". Speak mostly Spanish as the nanny is only Spanish speaker.

Back 15th year ago on 31st of August, a kind of love that I never feel before was born on that same day too. As all the mothers, I feel a huge love inside me and till today that love never gone away.

I love you Shan!!!

I just want to say a short prayer today,

"Dear God,

Thank you so much for Shan. The joy that you give us is so clear and so precious. I want to be a good mother to him and Lord, please help me to be one.

I know this child is a blessing from you. Please use him as thy will. When Shan starting his new school next year, Lord may my son go with thy angels protection. So help us God!

We love you and we have faith in you.

In Christ name,


Shan and ma ma

I mad at him for not opening his eyes!!

Please read and pray for her

Overton sonographer found her own cancer; she awaits liver ...OVERTON — Trisha Grote has been doing ultrasounds on humans and animals for 17 years, so when she scanned her own liver, there was no mistaking what she ...kearneyhub.com/.../article_dc2e535e-b458-11df-a696-001cc4

Monday, August 30, 2010

In hot and out hot

Thai food is becoming global food for many many years now. Almost every countries have Thai food. There are two Thai restaurants, Bahn Thai and Tim Thai in Gainesville Florida. The food is not bad at all. Well I should say eatable! Once you live in Thailand you knew that it is real Thai food or not.

In Guatemala, my friends and I had several Pad Thai Party. They all love Pad Thai!!

In Thailand depend on regions, we had different kind of Thai food... ie.... Northeast food, Northern food, Southern food and main Thai food.

Today...... Lan, my friend took me to the special Southern food. The restaurant is not so far from my house. I forgot the name of the restaurant though. The owner (the husband), used to work at the foreign service. In the shop you can see the husband photos with, who that guy name..... Oh yeah the Queen Elizabeth's husband, his name is Prince Phillipe right?, Him with different famous people hanging on the wall. Lan told me he is dead.

First thing I notice is the Southern food is mostly yellow color. To day Lan ordered fried fish with Turmeric and Garlic which is yellow colour, fish and bamboo soup also with yellow color, rice salad and a green vege which I never ever eat before in my life. To be honest I do not like that vege much. Strange flavor!!

Second thing I notice is ... the food are very hot! I used to like hot food but now after my new liver, I just do not like too hot food any more.

Talking about food, I do not like bread also. I do not like burgers nor hot dog!! I was born with rice and growning up with rice. But right after my new liver get into my life, I wanted to eat so much peanut butter toast and I did eat it alot. I would eat my breakfast mostly a cup of coffee, peanut butter toast and strawberry fruit juice.

Back to lunch to day.... finished the lunch and back to home at around 1 pm. Took my nap then my stomach got hit by Southern attacked with Southern Food!! It was unbelievable pain and I was running to the toilet for 4 to 5 times. What can I say....

In hot and out hot is what I am feeling now!!!!

Southern Thailand food is good just make sure not so hot.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Brother Tiger!

I am doing lots of thinking since Tiger Wood's divorce news is on TV. I do not know him nor his wife but it is still bothering me. OK let me tell you more.

I do not care how many times this brother Tiger divorce or cheated to any women he married into but I do feel so bad for his 3 years and 19 months old Children.

Tiger said, "We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future," Woods and Elin Nordegren said in a joint statement released by their lawyers.

For me, NO they are not sad!

I do not think he is really sad nor thinking about his children. Yeah right, some of you might think that he has money so all are going to be alright. Wrong!

There is money can't buy.... love and emotional. Not been with the same roof with both parent in that younger age is horrible. The children are for sure will miss laughter at home which is very important to built up self confident and out going personality. May be more what and how parent are damaging on their children. This the crazy doctor can tell you more than me.

They both might be OK but the children got screw up in their brain for NOT being growing up in normal happy life. Why I said that? I said that because....

I was brought up from a broken married. Once in my life I did not like my parent. I did not like them at all. I thought they are selfish and thinking about them only. I even do not know that I am OK say.... smart, pretty and attracted because my parent did not tell me that. Talking about that "Never" my father nor my mother tell me that I am beautiful also.

Believe me when I said I knew I was very OK only after I worked for UNDP and American Embassy. Then I went to Hong Kong and Macao. Can you believe it I knew more about me or that I am attracted and lots of men wanted to date me when I was waaaaaaay after 20 years old. Meantime in other world the girls are loosing their virginity at 13 year old!!!

I am starting to forgive my father when I have my son.

This was what happening in my younger life being without parent.

1. When I see other family together in the Church I feel sad because I do not have it with me.

2. When I need help on homework, on boyfriends, on relationship there is no one near to tell me what is right or wrong. I learn and still learning all by myself.

3. When on my graduation day my father was not with me. It was hurt. I was with my mother and my grandmother but I still feel that my father should see me on that important day of my life.

4. I did not have family holiday like others. I was the one flying between my father's house and my mother's house in Summer. Felt very angry and sad for since 9 years old I was flying a lone.

5. On my wedding day... there were not my parent except my sister and my grandmother. Well, my mom passed a way and my father did not care beside just one word and said, "Are you marrying that White man?" He was not interesting who this white man is. OK now he loves my son and Robins.

There are lot more to say but enough.

Tiger has money, tons of them but he must have not only "love" but also "time" to his very very young children.

Tiger failed as a good husband but hope he is success in "as a good father!!"

All the best to brother Tiger!!

Helen with Thai lady boys! (my birthday!)

Helen in Colorado!

Helen last year birthday party with Robins's friend

Helen at the summer house

Helen with long hair wig

Helen with mountian dress and mountian girl

Helen with mountian hat!

Helen at the Vandabuilt University

Happy Helen

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

This week

After one month for no tennis, I am starting to play this week. Normally I play 3 times a week and 2 days in the gym. Robins bought me a new nice racquet from the States which I tried it out today. Not bad at all.

Robins is in China so the house is so quiet. Shan is studying for his boarding school entrance test. The admin. are coming to Bangkok to interview my Shan. I can only say what a "Cool" school. Hope he pass it!!!

My friends are asking me that am I ready or not for my son going a way. One thing I know is I will be missing him alot. What a love that we all mothers have don't we?

But my son is ready though. One of his best friends, Jee is already left this year to Canada! Some how in Thailand people let their children go to Boarding School very young (not for me). Sometime as young as 10 years old. Robins left home also when he was 15. By the way my son will be 15 end of this month. I thanks God for my son is healthy and happy boy.

I have some orders for my business. The problem is now Gems are getting rare and hard to find. Anyway Gem Trade Show is coming soon, 1st week of Sept. As always I will be running around and checking out some good stones.

One request: If you say a prayer tonight please please put my step brother in. He is living in Macao. He is passing difficult time and a man who is facing the world so uneasily. I am trying to help him but........................

Well I guess help is works only when you accept it.

Now I just wanted to cry out, "God please help me!!"

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


In German language "Azoe" (Ah-zoe) is like... in English "is that right!" or "Oh yeah" something like that. Ok I might be wrong here but I hear it all the time they are saying ......Azoe, Azoe and Azoe.

I met this Lady at the Frankfurt Airport. For my own experience, German are more friendly, more relax and more helping ..ie asking information, they will help you willingly. We walked down to the airport where is the train station to Dortmund. She was going another town also.

Looking at my ICE (speed train), ticket... all are in German. She speaks very little English but she tired to commute with me was very kind of her and I appreciated. She said, "Yah yah no problem, I help."

So we walked down the building and we sat that bench and were waiting the train together. I forget her name though!!! She said to me,"Chineze?". I said, "NO.. Shan, Lahu , American!" She said., "A....zoe!"

In one point she was asking me "Married?" but she sound was kind of (Mar-rit)!!.. luckily I still can understand her. I said, "Oh Yes, very married" then she said, "A..Zoe!" again!!

I told her my husband and my son is back to Bangkok already . Here come again she said, "A..Zoe!" Then she told me about her life...

She said, "I married one, German man yah yah finished... then I boyfriend with American man. We got one baby yah and he no married and gone, fly fly ...AZoe"

After 40 minute waiting the train I, myself feel free to starting agree with her , "A...zoe" !!!

Then she raised her voice and said agian.."Yah yah he is A...zoe!" But I realized when she said "Azoe" this time her sound slightly different than hers before "Azoe". So I pay really attention to her and then I found out what she was really mean to say. This time her Azoe was sound like (Arssss..sol) .

I said to her, "What?" Then she said again, "American man no good Arsss sol!" Then I got the point and said , "You want to say asshole to him." She was so happy that I got to understand her. Then she shouted with joy and said...."A Zoe!!!"

In that moment we both had lot of laughing. Then I said to her.....,

"My American husband is not "Arsss sold"!!! She laugh with clapping her hands and said,
"Gut, gut, gut!! "(means good!)

What a laugh that I got with this lady after 7 hours and 30 minutes flight from Orlando, Florida!

Well...life you never know ha!

I told her that I want your photo. She posted for me with the fingers up and said..., "Sand kue!!" means...'Thank you!!"

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Me Back!!!

After long holiday I am back to Bangkok. Since I got my precious new liver, for me holiday means medical check up + holiday. CT scan said I am clean. Again I am still living by the mercy, this is never being a doubt. life is good!

When I was in USA the following news was what I read.

Anne Rice write.... "In Denver, Colorado two brothers embraced before going into surgery for a liver transplant. Ryan Arnold, age 34, was donating a part of his healthy liver so that his older brother Chad Arnold, who had an incurable liver disease, could live.

This type of surgery is rare and not without risk. After what seemed to be a successful surgery complication arose. Within four days, the donor Ryan Arnold died while his brother Chad lived.

Ryan and Chad's father fought back tears as he broke the new to Chad with the simple words, "I have some bad news. Ryan's gone but we sill serve a good God."

When I read this new, I feel pain in my brain and in my heart. But me also still serve a good God!!! If you ask me why one die and one live? Why God can't help for both brothers to stay?

I have no answers for that. Simply because I am not God but again.... I am still have faith in my God.

I came back to Bangkok Via Germany and France. By the way it was very nice to see friends in Germany who taking part of my life and thoughtful. Paris is so beautiful. Beautiful on both City and people (I means the way they dress, their look).

On the Lufthansa flight from Orlando to Frankfurt, I was seated next to a man from Zurich. The plane was full and every seats were taking in the first class. OK Lets call him Matt!!

Matt and his family (wife and 3 daughters), 3 were in the first class and 2 were in the Business class. Matt and his family was supposed to go home earlier but he got emergency surgery in Orlando so their booked seats were taking and their reseats were splited seats.

Matt appears is obvious, he looks not a healthy person. Every one can noticed it. He looks not over 45 year old. His skin colour was not fresh and he was very thin also. He said hello to me as he was next to me and from then we talked and talked.

When I told him I am a liver transplant receiver because of liver cancer, without a pause he said, "I have cancer and it's all over. Doctor told me not so long. I stop the treatment now and taking holiday with my family." Let me tell you some thing here...... if a cancer person (what ever this person cancer situation is), meet another cancer fellow..... we feel we are a family. I looked at him when he said he is dying I was chocked. Then I can't speak any more just feel so sorry as his daughters are still very young.

Matt is a regional director (Asia), of a very big bank (I do not want to mention it), and also own computer parts making company. He has to visit Hong Kong and Singapore often to see his business. After we talked about family, life, and health, this is what he said, "I am a successful business man and I do have wealth but I can't take it with me. Now for me is a time with my family is the only real wealth that important to me." I hope this is not too late for him.

I cried inside me without tear. I do know very well that what this man feels. I can't speak and I just stop talking and be a listener to him. I just wanted to give him a hug say, "I know what you are saying and what you feel. I know very well also that how much you do not want to leave your family behind." But...... this was not come out from my mouth I just shut because I can't talk anymore.

I noticed that he drinks alot. As usual good class in the plane gives you plenty of wines and alcohol. May be he is having a good time what ever left for him.

I wish and hope Matt will still have more time with his family!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Myriam is a friend who studied the gemology school together with me. Now living in Merce and came up to Paris to meet me. She is my private tour guide and a good one too!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Helen in Germany

Helen McIntosh in Paris

My friend from Dortmond!

Notros Dame

I love this photo

My breakfast place

Me and Myriam has breakfast everyday here. Do not ask me how much cost me for 2.... I can feed 5 people in Bangkok!!

Marie Antoinette's summer play house

Damn this woman had everything!

Antoinette's house

This is Antoinette Poo Poo bowl!

Antoinette bed room

I think she is tiny! her bed was not as big as mine.

Marie Antoinette 's music room

The famous-Maria Antoinette

Robins thinks I am a big spender. I wish he married to this woman see how I am much better in money!

Me with who

In the Versilles Palace Garden. I have no idea who this man is.


Louis bed side chair

King Louis bed room

I with no King!

Yes I am without king well they all dead!

Meeting Hall for the King

Louis Garden

Which Louis?

I have no idea who this man is!

Meeting king Louis 14th, 15th and 16th!

Versailles Palace

Paris Tot Tot


Sein river


People love to kiss around here. I saw so many couple kissing like no one around them. I met a couple just married and still with the wedding gown on top of Eiffel tower. Oh yes they are kissing and sipping champagne up on top which is barely I can walk because of so many people.


Thousand of people love this place but for me not that much! Oh yeah I know the history and even saw another new arch too.

My golden shoes

I was so tired and can't walk with my black shoes. Myriam take me to this full of Gold and Silva shoes shop and here I am with my golden shoes. People like my shoes though!

Paris girls

I noticed the girls and boys in Paris are beautiful too. Most of them wear black and white (like me ha ha ha), alot. They look clean, classy and busy!

Me taking sun!

My new friend

Met this lady at the Secret Heart, Paris! She was renting a house and holidaying with her daughter. We are friends for a day. She is working with Hollywood talent search group. Her son is new comer of Holly wood star. Already made 4 movies now the last one is with Steven Spielberg. I do not want to name his son also the movie name but I know it will coming out next year. Surprise surprise... she live in West Palm beach! and her son is studying in Gainesville University.

Me Infront of Secret Heart

Secret Heart

People are still praying here. When you get into the Colone Cathedral, the Church are so silent! But in this Paris Secret Heart, everyone is talking! The Chinese Tourist group are the worst..... as always so loud. Now remember I have part of Chinese blood!!! May be 15%


My teeth are bigger than Eiffel Tower!!

View Point

The top of the La Fayete you can see Paris. Lots of touris (Including me), we all were enjoying the view. Paris is so beautiful for me.

La Opera _Paris


This is La Fayete! From Florida where the weather was hot and here I hit by the cold in Paris. I went to look for stocking, warm clothes! I enjoyed shopping there.