Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Most of the working people earn the money, salary! Big or Small, it is depend on situation. Some got huge amount so big that the size of Mount Avert. Do not ask me why they got that size of money? I do not know!

Other might say because of their Kama? They were doing wonderful job with kinded hearts in their past lives? That's I do not know how accurate either. For me, by money only is not to judge some one's characteristic. My problme is I still can't see some one's past life with my eye balls. Even in this present lives, I can't read someone mind to say this person is really really sincere. Well this will be on another blog. Should I call "Characterisitc"??

Lets talk about the salary only here. Me, Helen, I haven't earn Salary for 18 years since the day I got married. I become pure housewife. I had read somewhere, sometime about how much the house wife should be earned?? The calculation said "the Amount of Salary for a housewife should be around 400,000US$ per year." In this case, I rather wish to be AIG CEO's wife!!

My newspaper reading for today, in Daily Xpress dated on march 31,2009 said ....................................................,

"Pastor's huge salary"

A Singapore-based church paid one of its leaders more than S$ 500,000(Thai Baht 11.7 million) in its last financial year.

The New Creation Church, which raised $19million in just one day in February for the construction of its new premises, paid one employee between $500,001 and 550,000. (Here I do not understand what for the 1 S$ end. Why not stop in 500,000 instead 500,001? What the different of 1S$ did ???)

The Church did not confirm if the money was paid to its leader, Senior Pastor Joseph Prince. But honorary secretary Deacon Matthew Kang was quoted as saying it was the church's policy to "recognise and reward key contributors and Senior pastor Prince is the main pillar of our church's growth and revenue".

My Conclusion: I am glad that a church is growing, I am proud of the Pastor is good enough for raising so much money for a day. Each church's policy is slightly different but if I can express my one wish, this will be my wish....

"Hope that all churches around the world put one main policy which is above of all......

"Love God with all your heart and with all your soul"

If there will be another wish for me to say, I wish each Pastor loves equal to all his church members those who pay more, work more and those who pay less and work less. Pastor job is.....Loves all your folks! In my language...A good Pastor should loves good, bad, ugly, faulty, weak, even repented bastard in under his leader.

Wish you all salary will be as big as a bucket full!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Wipe Off That Smirk!

Here is a very smirking face of Joe!!

As you are I have seen people with " The Smirk" faces often!! Human nature (some), do have that I know the most, my way is better than yours, my knowledge is larger than you, my taste is far nicer than yours... so many with wrong attitude....Well, sometime yes! you mith be the right position to do so but that's doesn't mean right. (By the way I do have that smirk face sometime when the people starting to talk to me like I was born without brain!!).

I had 2 kinds of smirk faces before. One was "The Smirk" inside my body and the other was "The smirk" that show on my face. The altitude that wanted to show off that I am not dummy. I even get into discussion. Now with the new attitude, I did wipe off the smirk which I have (no successfully yet! still do have very little smirk, I think). I even listen patiently of other's thinking and just talk to my self.... "Wowwww what a different!!" and...I am also now good at avoiding "the people with the smirk faces"!!

Then last night at my devotional time, this is what I learn and praying for ........

"Rejoice not when the enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he strumbleth. Proverbs 24:17"

"After having her first migraine headache, a friend said she would not wish one on he worst enemy. She's a much more loving Cristian than I am. I'm not always so restrained in what I wish for those who've caused me and mine trouble or heartache. I've found it difficult to control the smirk muscles in my face when people who "deserve it" finally get what's coming to them. It's even more satisfying when someone who has tired to trip me falls instead.

What does smirking say about me? Nothing good. Good clearly doesn't want God's children to harbor ill feelings toward anyone. Proverbs 24:17 rules out even a small bit of joy as an appropriate or loving response to an enemy's troubles. There's too much "me" where Christ should be. I still have a lot of love to learn to wipe out and wipe of the smirks.
Do you ever smirk when your enemies fall? Are you glad to see them stumble? If so, what emotion should replace your joy? "

"Dear God, I don't please You when I enjoy another person's failure. Forgive my pride that still seeks to come out on top.


Thursday, March 26, 2009

That's why I love my United States of America!

I just wanted to say...Thank you to John Hege. Rest in peace, Sir. You are one of the American who makes America the way she is now in medical field.... A great Country!! I respect your care, your way of living, your thought for others. I also thank you to your family.

How great will be if we all sign up for the donors?? My husband is a donor, my son will be a donor when he reaches the age.

Again thank you so much John Hege.

Slain Oakland officer's organs save four men
Henry K. Lee, Chronicle Staff Writer
Thursday, March 26, 2009

(03-25) 15:32 PDT OAKLAND -- Even in death, Oakland police Officer John Hege has saved four lives.

Hege, who was among four officers killed Saturday by a gunman in East Oakland, has given renewed hope to four men. One now has Hege's heart beating inside him. Two others have his kidneys and a fourth has the 41-year-old officer's liver.

Hege made it be known that if he died, he wanted to be an organ donor. Officials said Wednesday that his action had meant a second chance for the four men.

"He chose in death as he did in life to help those in need," the California Transplant Donor Network said in a statement. "We know those who are receiving his gifts thank him and his family with gratitude and a shared sense of loss at his passing."

The names of the recipients were not disclosed, but officials said all the men live in California. His father said he had been told the four live in the Bay Area.

Hege, a motorcycle officer and 10-year department veteran, renewed his driver's license last year and confirmed that he wished to donate his organs, said his father, John S. Hege of Piedmont.

That decision is bringing the family some solace, said the elder Hege, a retired physician who practiced internal medicine and rheumatology, the study of illnesses that include arthritis.

"We feel very positive about that," he said. "I think it's a personal decision for every person, and it may not be the right decision for everybody. But I think for John, it was right. It was what he wanted, and we're in agreement with that."

Officer Hege, who lived in Concord, was removed from life support at Highland Hospital in Oakland after doctors removed his organs Monday night. Hege, a former Hayward high school teacher, was single and had no children.

The other officers killed Saturday were traffic Sgt. Mark Dunakin, 40, of Tracy, and SWAT Sgts. Ervin Romans, 43, of Danville and Daniel Sakai, 35, of Castro Valley. Their organs were not donated, police said.

More than 21,000 people are on lists for organ transplants in California. A third of the people who need transplants die waiting, officials said. Kidneys, livers and hearts are in especially high demand.

For information about donating organs, go to donatelifecalifornia.org.
E-mail Henry K. Lee at hlee@sfchronicle.com.
This article appeared on page A - 8 of the San Francisco Chronicle

More Red Meat

Live longer by reducing red meat intake: Study
By Sharon Kirkey, Canwest News Service

Eating large amounts of red or processed meat increases the risk of dying, new research involving more than half a million people shows.

The sheer size and quality of the study has led the Canadian Cancer Society to say it will be lowering its recommended limit on the amount of red and processed meats people should consume.

The group now recommends limiting red meat to 500 grams, or 18 ounces per week, to reduce the risk of cancer.

The new study found men and women who eat about four ounces of red meat per day — the equivalent of a small steak or quarter-pound of meat — had a higher risk for overall death, and dying from heart disease or cancer than those who ate less than one ounce of red meat daily.

"Less than an ounce would be around threes slices of ham," says lead author Rashma Sinha, of the U.S. National Cancer Institute.

High intakes of red meat had already been linked to a greater likelihood of developing colorectal cancer, the second leading cause of cancer death in Canada.

"This takes it that next step and actually looks at the impact that has on cancer deaths," says Heather Chappell, senior manager of cancer control policy at the Canadian Cancer Society.

"This really is a significant addition to our body of knowledge in this area."
The study, published this week in the Archives of Internal Medicine, involved 322,263 men and 223,390 women, aged 50 to 71, recruited from eight American states and cities between 1995 and 2005. Volunteers filled out questionnaires that asked about their usual consumption of food and drinks, including a full range of meats.

Red meat included bacon, beef, cold cuts, ham, hamburger, hot dogs, liver, pork, sausage, steak and meats in foods such as pizza, chili lasagna and stew.
White meat included chicken, turkey and fish, as well as poultry cold cuts, canned tuna and low-fat sausages and hot dogs made from poultry.
Processed meat included bacon, red meat sausage, cold cuts, ham and regular hot dogs.

Next, people were grouped into five categories, based on their meat intake. Researchers compared the highest with the lowest meat eaters.

About 48,000 men, and 23,000 women died during the follow-up period.
Overall, "we found that the consumption of red and processed meat was associated with a modest increase in total mortality, cancer mortality and cardiovascular mortality in both men and women," Sinha says.

In contrast, those with the highest white meat intake had a slightly lower risk for death from any cause, and death from cancer.

A typical serving of meat is three to four ounces. Heavy red meat eaters consumed about 8 1/2 servings of meat per week, compared to low-end meat eaters who consumed just over one serving per week.

Men who ate the most red meat had a 31 per cent increased risk of overall death during the study compared to the one-fifth of males who ate the least amount. For women, heavy red meat eaters had a 36 per cent higher risk of dying. The findings held after researchers took family history, smoking, body mass and other risk factors into account.

"For overall mortality, 11 per cent of deaths in men and 16 per cent of deaths in women could be prevented" if people had consumed red meat at the lowest level of intake, the researchers write.

Among men, heavy red meat eaters had a 22 per cent increased risk of dying from cancer, and a 27 per cent higher risk of death from cardiovascular disease over the study period. For women, the risk of dying from cancer increased 20 per cent, and about 50 per cent for death from heart disease.

Other studies have looked at meat and mortality, but they were done mainly on Seventh-day Adventists in the U.S. and other vegetarian populations in Europe.
"They combined their results, so it was a bit more ambiguous. This is a big study. That's what's interesting," Sinha says.

She cautioned the risk has to be put into perspective. Smoking, for example, remains the No. 1 preventable cause of cancer.

"This is not a definitive study on whether or not Americans should eat red meat," says Sinha, senior investigator in the Nutritional Epidemiology Branch of the Division of Cancer Epidemiology and Genetics.

But the study comes amid rising rates of obesity, heart disease and cancer, and a "rapid shift" toward more consumption of all animal source foods, Barry Popkin, of the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, says in an accompanying editorial.

It's not clear what it is about red meat that may increase the risk of death. It could be the compounds produced during high-temperature cooking, or the preservatives in meat. Saturated fat in meats can raise cholesterol and blood pressure, and the more meat people eat, the less they may consume of other foods such as grains, fruits or vegetables.

But the biggest meat eaters in the study were also more likely to be "out of shape and overweight," says Toronto cardiologist Dr. Beth Abramson, a spokesperson for the Heart and Stroke Foundation.

It's hard to tease out if it's the actual food, or the lifestyle it's associated with, she says. Still, she says, "there is a scientific rational to be eating lower fat in general."

The Heart and Stroke Foundation recommends selecting lean meat and alternatives, trimming visible fat from meats, removing skin from poultry and using cooking methods such as roasting, baking or poaching that require little or no added fat.

Red Meat

About 2 years ago, in the Starbucks Coffee shop, Me, Robins and Dr. Arlo were having conversation about Cancer. I asked Dr. Arlo that...How is Red Meat cause cancer? He did explain to me real well about the way how the Fat Red Meat and High Temperature related...ie. B-B-Q!!

I have a hard time to believe that the Red Meat cause cancer!! Stone age people ate Red Raw Meat, actually all Raw right!! Then they found the fire and I am sure what they are eating is B-B-Q days and nights, months and years! I am glad that they all did not die with cancer till to produce me, Helen Layshan. I do not like B-B-Q that much but I got hit by the Liver Cancer so I had my own reason to believe that how could the Red Meat can cause cancers??

Then I saw the following ariticle in The Nation,Daily Xpress on 25th March 2009.

The Article said.......
"Read Meat ups death risk, white lowers it"
AFP, Washington

People who eat more read or processed meat have a higher risk of death from all causes including cancer, while a higher consumption of white meat reduces such risks, a decade-long US study has found.

The joint study, begun in 1995 by the National Institutes of Health and seniors group AARP , followed more than half a million men and women between ages 50 to 71, who filled out a food frequency questionnaire estimating their intake of read and processed meats as well as white meats such as pork, chicken and turkey.

Over the study period, 47,976 mean and 23,275 women died. The one fifth of men and women who ate the most read meat-a median of 62.5 grams per 1,000 calories per day-had a higher mortality rate than the one fifth who consumed the least 9.8 grams per thousand calories.

Cancer-causing com-ponds are known to form during high-temperature cooking of meat, the report stated, and meat is a major source of saturated fat, which has been linked to certain cancers."

I remembered before I was heading back to Bangkok, I asked my GI doctor that What Should I Eat To Be Healthy?? He said.."Moderate" is the key. Now as my brain is bigger along with my age, I think that yes...... The fat of red meat are not good.

Even though I still have one question.......

"A cow, a buffalo, a pig, a goat etc... which all eat 99% of good food only like Vegetables, how could they can produce a fat which can cause mortality??" They are not exercising? Lazy as just sleep, eat and drop the waste??

I am still a little confuse but won't eat red meat that much!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My View On Research

NOTE: This blog is only my thinking..might be far different from your thinking.

Religious Belief Linked to Desire for Aggressive Treatment in Terminal Patients

Published: March 17, 2009

Terminally ill cancer patients who drew comfort from religion were far more likely to seek aggressive, life-prolonging care in the week before they died than were less religious patients and far more likely to want doctors to do everything possible to keep them alive, a study has found.

Helen's View: 15 years ago when you found out that the "cancer" is with you, mostly die sooner than later. There is no chance to deal with aggressive way at all. The minute you know, you die in weeks. OK I will say die sooner because Medical Technology was limited and it was not that advance as nowadays. Forget about the religious people seek aggressive and life prolonging than who less religious patients, every one will seek aggressive treatment if there is a chance.

I do not need the research, I am sure most people with terminally ill cancer patients would like to live till they die. Sometime I do not understand such kind of research like this one, I doubt that how accurate is this?

The patients who were devout were three times more likely than less religious ones to be put on a mechanical ventilator to maintain breathing during the last week of life, and they were less likely do any advance care planning, like signing a do-not-resuscitate order, preparing a living will or appointing a health care proxy, the analysis found.

Helen's View: My mother in law is as Christian as I am. She is now 80+ and this is what she keeps saying.."If I have a bad terminal cancer, I do not want you all prolonging my life. Just take the tube off."....

This is me.."I will seek the medical help till I die". I do believe in "Not my will, They will be done" . On my last day on earth if I need it, I will ask so much morphine too. You know we have so many ways to go comfortably!!! Seeing when my sister was very sick with terminal ill cancer, Seeing her with my own two eye balls , she never wanted to die. I do have a question......

"Believers or non believers who wanted to die or not wanted to die and who want to get a aggressive care or not, are they all really link???" For 40+ years of my life, I never think about that "As I am a believer, so I must or need aggressive care of my last days or weeks on earth." Oh by the way...I have seen or heard that the doctor give patients 3 weeks, or 4 days to live but they are living now more than 2 years. The patients who got told 4 days to live, now living more than 2 years is the same time of when I got my treatment. I saw them, I talked to them, I was meeting with them in the same room. The result of aggressive care pay off??? What do you think??

I remembered once in new , there is a lady who can't speak, who can't function anymore...I forgot her name. Honestly the one who pulled the tube was her husband not the girl's parent. Herself can't express what she really wanted but the husband claimed that she is agree. He lets to pull the tube and she die. It's call mercy killing?? I am not the one to judge but I leave that in God's hands too.

As are in God’s hands — ’Let what happens happen’ — but in fact we know they want more aggressive care,” said Holly G. Prigerson, the study’s senior author and director of the Center for Psychosocial Oncology and Palliative Care Research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston.

Helen's View: Here I have to say something, I am a Christian and yes I do believe in God's hands. Of course I want more aggressive care for to live longer and to die happy way!! I am so surprise that why most people want to put the Medicine and the Faith, a part?

When human are in racing (here I will put both in sport or in life), we all wanted to win. Forget about the result but we have to paddle hard to win the race. For me I believe my faith in God and also in seeking for the aggressive care too. Do I need more research on that ?

“To religious people, life is sacred and sanctified,” Dr. Prigerson said, “and there’s a sense they feel it’s their duty and obligation to stay alive as long as possible.”

Helen's View: I do not know other religious people but as a Christian for me life is value and good that's why God give to me this life. For me there is no choice that I am the daughter of U Lay Shan and Daw Nang Mie no matter how I wish to be the daughter of Queen Elizabeth and her husband Phillipe! NO CHOICE FOLK. See it ???No Choice!! I live on earth as Helen Layshan by birth with no choice Now I live as Helen Layshan McIntosh by married with

There is yes or no in married but there is no yes or no to become as you want to come out! Picking who I want to be my parent is impossible.

By the way I am very happy as who I am. Unkindly say..glad that not the wife of Charles. I might have money but happy or not is the question.

Aggressive life-prolonging care comes at a cost, however, both in terms of dollars and human suffering. Medicare, the government’s health plan for the elderly, spends about one-third of its budget on people who are in the last year of life, and much of that on patients at the very end of life.

Helen's View: Good point, of course as research said aggressive life prolonging care comes at a cost. Actually we all want care but can't do it because no money!! Seen to me not the religious is the points, the cost is more talking here for a patients to get more care or not.

Have you ever seen that a family member said...."Well..we are not believer so lets pull the tube or stop aggressive care!" Again here I do not understand well about care and aggressive care. we human body has limited tolerance of medicine. No matter how much you want the aggressive care if your body can't take it, you die. You can't do nothing. There is a limit!

Aggressive end-of-life care can lead to a more painful process of dying, researchers have found, and greater shock and grief for the family members left behind.

Helen's View: Here I would understand like this. If I am a patient's shoes, I want more care till I die. If I am a family's shoes I want my family patient die quicker because he or she is sufferring.

Greater shock and grief is depend on the patient's age. I was so grief when my sister die because she is only 31 but if now God calls my grand mother, I will say I am very happy because she is 91 years old. She has the very blessing life!

The new study used both a questionnaire and interviews to assess the level of reliance on religious faith for comfort among 345 patients with advanced cancer. The patients, most of them belonging to Christian denominations, were followed until they died, about four months on average.

Helen's View: How could these 345 Christian patients represent the whole Christian in the world? I am lost in here. Why only on Christian and why not research on others religion too? Then I must say the conclusion is right!! May be Jewish or Muslim or Buddish might wants more aggressive care than Christian denominations. How about that?? I would say this research need more works!

The vast majority of patients, religious or not, did not want heroic measures taken. Still, 11.3 percent of the most religious patients received mechanical ventilation during the last week of life, compared with only 3.6 percent of the least religious.

The most religious patients were also more likely than less religious ones to be resuscitated in the last week of life and to be treated in an intensive-care unit as they died, although those differences may have been due to chance.

“Doctors don’t always acknowledge, and I’m pretty sure patients are telling us, that God is really important in their lives,” said Dr. Gerard Silvestri, a cancer specialist at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, S.C., who has studied end-of-life decision making.

Helen's Views: I want to say to any doctor who did this research is a waste of time or waste of my tax money. When a research team is form, I wish they need to consider that is this research really really need to be done or not! Of course as a believer..yes God is very important in my life. My God is my every thing. I deal every day life with the brain that God gives it to me. Remember as I said one of my blog...

God uses doctors and medicine to heal you!

A study by Dr. Silvestri in 2003 found that while cancer patients listed their oncologist’s recommendation as the most influential factor affecting their decisions about medical care, their faith in God was the second-most-influential factor, ranking higher than the recommendations of their family doctors, their spouses and children, and even information about whether treatment would cure the disease.

Helen's View: Oncologist's recommendation most influential and faith in God was the second most influential factor?? I can't speak for other but as a believer I can speak for me. To my remember, I do not put God in Second place.

My own experience of fighting with liver cancer, I listen what the doctor told me and I put God's will first. I always pray first before I go to see the doctor. Way Way before I got a good doctor, I pray to God to get me a good doctor. I put God first as I believe in that God guide my doctors and nurses.

OK the other way, or put it this way ...How about if my doctors is a far more believer than me? May be my doctors might pray for him before he/she guide me or all the patients? I am sure there are many Christian Doctors who seek God's guiding their hands and brain to help the patients! How could you be sure that Doctors never pray but only believe in his own brain??

There is a line that no human can't cross. Thai people said.."We know the day that we born but we do not know the day of our dead."

I am not talking about "OK today is the day, lets pull the tube!!"

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I wish you well!

I wish you well Gemma. I wish more that you feel well. I admired your way of dealing the cancer... you will be in my prayer. I used to be the same boat of all these people. God, I know exactly how they feel.

I do not know when my cancer will be return, after 3 years? 5 years? I do not know! This is beyond human control. I pray to God that "When the dead part me from my family and my friends from this earthly world, please it will be only My God's will, for sure it will be.

This is from my today subcriber of Google.

Good afternoon, my name is Gemma and I am participating with you all in this program to talk about my disease. The cancer that I have is called leiomyosarcoma and is a very rare cancer. They have diagnosed 4,000 cases this year, if I am not mistaken. It is rare, and for this reason there isn’t much knowledge about treatments. It is considered incurable for now because they don’t know of anything that will effectively cure the disease; rather it is treated with surgery. If the surgery doesn’t work, it is then treated with chemotherapy and/or with radiation.

Diagnosing Leiomyosarcoma

It really started in 1990. It was the first time that I had any indication that I had something. At that time we didn’t know what it was. What happened was that I had a pain, a really mellow pain. In the part–let’s see on the right side towards the pelvis, close to the appendix, close to there is where I had the pain, but it was a mellow pain, it was not a sharp, sharp pain.

For this reason I knew that it wasn’t the appendix because I had asked my dad who it just so happens is a doctor. I had asked him, and he touched me there to see if he could find something. He told me that if it were the appendix I would know it because it would be an attack, a sharp pain, and it wasn’t like that. For that reason I didn’t do anything, and I let months and months and months pass by, but the pain kept returning. And now it was returning more often and a little more strong, until it got to the point where it almost hurt me every day, and it hurt me for hours in a row. So then, in that moment, I was explaining it to my dad, who lives in another state. He told me over the telephone that I should go to the hospital, to go to the emergency room and get it checked. Well, that is what I did. We arrived at the hospital; I went with my husband. When we went to the hospital, the surgeon agreed with my dad that it should be investigated to see what it was that caused the pain.

Although it did not appear to be the appendix, they were still going to open, to enter to see what they found. When they opened it up they saw that the appendix was fine. It was perfect. But behind the appendix, in the muscle tissues of the peritoneum, they found a round tumor that measured four centimeters [or] five centimeters in diameter and they removed it from me. The tumor looked like it was the size of a small orange, or maybe an apple.

They then analyzed it in the hospital, but they didn’t come to a conclusion as to what it was. They were not sure if it was malignant or benign. For that reason, they then sent it to another national laboratory in Baltimore. There they checked it, and they couldn’t come to a conclusion either. What they did say was that it had a great possibility of metastasizing, without saying if it was malignant or cancerous. They said that it was a tumor without knowing its origin or status.

When I was done with the operation they recommended that for the first three years to do checkups, CAT scans every six months, or first for every three months for a year, later every six months. So that is what I did until three years passed, and in those three years I didn’t have any pain nor did anything show up on the scans. For that reason we left it. In other words, the doctor told me to not worry anymore because it would not return.

Recurrences of Leiomyosarcoma Begin

I continued with my life. I am a lawyer and I worked in a Public Defenders office at that time and my work was really active. I represented people in criminal cases. The years passed, the operation was in ‘91. Afterward, around 1995 more or less, I noticed that I tired easily and I was always tired. I got up to go to court and then I returned after court to continue sleeping.At any rate, I started to hurt again in the same place. So I returned to the original surgeon who told me that it was nothing, that I had nothing. I found two or three other doctors to talk to and I found one who did a sonogram in that zone. He found that yes there was another tumor, or what appeared to be a tumor where the original had been. Afterwards he did another sonogram in the liver region and it appeared that I also had cancer, a tumor in the liver.We decided in that moment that we would operate. First, the original doctor, [the] surgeon, told me that he couldn’t do the operation. If it was only in the original place he would try to take it out, but now that it had reached the liver, he personally could not do it. Perhaps after consulting with other doctors, oncologists, other cancer surgeons, they would have a better chance.Therefore they referred us, and we went to talk to three different surgeons here in Miami. And none of the three surgeon oncologists wanted to operate. They told me that when cancer spread like mine had, there was no reason to operate because it would keep getting worse.For that reason, they gave me no options outside of trying chemotherapy, although there was no chemotherapy that could cure it. It could make it grow less fast, more slowly and slow the tumor, and that could help me and I could probably live another two and a half, three years.

Searching for Treatment Answers for Leiomyosarcoma

As you can imagine, my husband and I were hysterical when they told us this. We started to investigate ourselves, buying books about cancer; we looked on the Internet. By asking questions, reading and doing research in libraries and through the internet, we found out that there were two doctors in the world who specialized in this type of cancer. One was in Germany and the other was in the U.S., but in California. So we called the doctor, sent him all of the X-rays and we sent them by airplane, so they could check them there to see what their opinion was.

Oh, but before that, after consulting the three doctors here in Miami, they told us that we may find someone in a Hospital in Pittsburgh, which is a very important center where they do liver transplants. Possibly they would consider doing a liver transplant if they took out the original tumor first, then afterwards they could take out the liver or part of the liver. Well afterwards they did more exams, now in the chest; they found that in both lungs I had dozens of tumors on the left and right side. When they saw this, the people in Pittsburgh said that they would definitely not operate, that they couldn’t, that they doubted anyone could operate [on] it.

For that reason, when we found the doctor in California we were hysterical with happiness because the doctor told us that we should go there even after seeing all of the scans and all of the reports and all of the other doctors’ opinions that we had consulted. He told us that yes we should go and when we got there, he told us that yes they could operate on me.First, we would try a type of chemotherapy to see if it worked because there were chances that it worked better than others did. In case it didn’t work, he had a great surgeon in LA who could do the surgery.

After a few months passed recuperating from that surgery, there was another doctor who could take the tumors out of my lungs. Afterwards, the person who specialized in chemotherapy in this type of treatment would continue to look for and investigate to see if he could find some type of chemo that would help me. In the meantime, with the surgery he could sustain me for a very long time.So for us, it was like a miracle, from being told there was absolutely no chance and that they wouldn’t even try to operate or do anything to try to save my life, to it appeared that yes they could, that they would attempt it, and the chances were good that I would live.First we did the chemo during [the] summer, and then in September of ‘96 I was operated on, on the liver and the retroperitoneum. From the retroperitoneum they took out a large tumor that had grown “to the size of a pomegranate,” as the doctor put it. Afterwards they dissected three lesions of different sizes that were in my liver. I believe the biggest was about seven centimeters, something like that. Two of the lesions they removed by cryosurgery, and the other one they cut out. It was all in the same operation and thank God all went well.

A few months afterwards, in February of ‘96, I returned to California so they could now operate on my lungs. In this case the operation went well and he was able to take out, as I recall, 13 tumors from one side and 20 or 22 tumors from the other side. I don’t remember the numbers well but I do know that it was almost two dozen in total.Afterwards they closed the wound. The opening was from the throat down to almost halfway down my trunk, about an inch above my belly button. I was ready to return to Miami after a few days to recuperate from the operation.

The last day when we were about to leave, pus started to ooze out of the stitches they had given me to close up the wound. Liquid started to come out of that spot and it appeared as if it was infected. We called the hospital and asked them if they needed to see it–if they needed us to stay so they could see the wound, and that it appeared to have an infection. They told us that no, not to worry, but when we returned to Miami, to go see the doctor there as soon as possible to look at the wound.

Complications After Surgery

We left California on Friday and we arrived in Miami that same night. We started to call the doctor who we had the last contact with in Miami, the one who had at last told us he could attend us here in Miami. We couldn’t find him; he didn’t answer his beeper until Monday when we went to the hospital. There, I was admitted immediately because the wound was completely infected, and the infection was so large that it had gone to the bone, to the sternum. The entire zone around it had also become infected, so they would have to enter and open me up to the bone and scrape everything and take everything out so they could take out all of the infection. If not, I could die from this.

They opened me up again, and in total I was in the hospital for five months more. Between intensive care operations and regular care I had four, five operations more, one because the port got infected–two times. I had blood clots; one in the port, the other I don’t remember where it was, but it was heading for my brain and it almost killed me. My parents and my family had to come three times from Detroit. Each time they were told that I wouldn’t survive the next day. They also had put tubes in my lungs. My lungs had collapsed; it was like they deflated completely. So they had to put a tube in me that entered my nose, lowered through my throat and entered my lungs to breathe for me.

That is how I was for ten days, eleven days. I had to be paralyzed during this time and I don’t remember anything because they gave me a drug because my body was rejecting the tube and I was consciously rejecting the tube. So for the body to allow the tube they had to, not put me to sleep, but paralyzed for ten, eleven days. Even after the ten, eleven days my lungs did not respond and the doctors told us once again, they told my family that if my lungs didn’t begin to function on their own in a day, more or less, that I would not have any chance of living.Once again hopeless, until the last moment, God who is grand helped us.

I started to breathe on my own. My lungs started to function. So they were able to take out the tube, and after that week, more or less, and two or three emergencies more, I was able to leave.That was in February of ‘97. I left the hospital the last day of March of 1997 after about six weeks between California and Miami. Three months after this passed, to recuperate once again, so I could return to be operated on my liver because two new lesions had popped up and one of the old ones had regenerated. They had to operate on my liver once again.The second liver operation was in May of ‘97. Afterwards in September of ‘98, once again, they had to operate on my lungs because the little tumors had continued growing and they were spread all over my lungs. The first time they had to open me up in front, in the center, and they could do both lungs at the same time. But this time, because they had to reconstruct the sternum with muscles, nails and iron, they couldn’t enter the same way.

Treated with Thalidomide
So they had to do the operation in back, but they entered my ribs on the right side where I had more disease, and the thought was that I would return in three months so they could do my left lung. It didn’t go that way because I started to take a drug called thalidomide, which is a drug that had been taken off the market a few years before.

They had taken it off the market because it had side effects where babies came out with physical defects. It was the little children that came out without arms or without legs or they hadn’t grown completely. They started to experiment with that drug in the nineties. They deduced that the reason the organs or the arms or legs wouldn’t grow in the babies was that the mothers had taken the medicine and it had prohibited blood to reach vessels and it prohibited new tumors to form. They then thought that it would probably do the same to all types of cancer, that this prohibited blood to flow and from new cells in the tumors. So they started to experiment, and it did happen that in various cases it functioned effectively.

I began to take it without delay because in cases of sarcoma like mine it hadn’t functioned. In my case, it appeared that it would work. Eighteen months passed, and only two times some growths showed up on my scalp and on my back. Minus these two growths, which they operated on, eighteen months passed without anything growing, nothing new and nothing old. It appears to us that it was due to the thalidomide I took. It appears that after some time the body doesn’t assimilate it and it won’t function anymore. So we had to begin to look for something new to use because once again the tumors in my lungs began to grow.
We were involved in that when I asked the doctor who was treating me here in Miami why he didn’t do a CAT scan on my pelvis because it had been some time since it had been done. Every three months they did my lungs and liver, but they had stopped doing my pelvis. He said that it wasn’t necessary because they were checking up on the lungs and liver, and there hadn’t been a problem with the pelvis, which is why they were not checking it.

I told him that it wasn’t certain because the first tumor had originated there very close to the pelvis. So he told me he would have it done. We discovered that another tumor had grown in the tissues of my pelvis and had entered inside the bone. So now it wasn’t just the tumors that had run through the blood stream. They had spread throughout the body to distinct organs, and now they had entered bones, and they could spread throughout my bones.

Before anything else, they had to take out the tumor that I had there because it measured about three and a half centimeters. Once again, like it happened the other time, I saw two or three doctors here to operate on me and none of them wanted to operate on me because first of all the tumor was too big and it couldn’t be operated on without losing the leg. Secondly, with all of the other tumors that I had in my body it wasn’t possible to find another doctor who would do such a debilitating operation when the other operation was going to kill me. So it wasn’t worth cutting the leg and taking away my quality of life if I wouldn’t live anyway.

The doctor told me not to worry once again. He thought that if we had luck with radiation, through the radiation the tumor could be made small enough to take it out without losing the hip and without losing the leg or only a minimal loss of the leg. In other words, by having this done I could possibly limp a little, but they wouldn’t have to take off my leg or my hip. Once again, he gave me hope that something could function.

Now that we knew that the chemo did not work, we tried radiation. I underwent 21 days of radiation at the maximum dose that could be done in this region [of my body]. It happened that not only did it make the tumor smaller, but six months afterwards the tumor had disappeared and nothing was left of it. The bone had also reconstructed and it had maintained itself without problems, in other words the tumor had disappeared. So we considered it another miracle that God had done.
Unfortunately, this still wasn’t the end. It wasn’t the end of my trauma, my saga, because once it had entered the bone marrow, the cancerous cells that stayed inside, that couldn’t be removed by surgery, spread all over and now there were three tumors in my spinal column. They had already tried radiation on those three tumors to see if we had luck like we had with the hip. The treatment did not function. Now we are trying again because the last scan that I had, it appeared that it had grown a lot, and it could start to affect me. It could leave me paralyzed in some part of the body if it affects some nerves, or it could kill me. So now we are–I am trying radiation treatment.All the more, in February we started to notice that one of the tumors in my lungs was growing at a more rapid rate than the others. Every two months we did scans and the size had doubled from two centimeters to four centimeters, up to eight centimeters, until it was so big that when I went to see the doctor it was so big, and it had spread so much that it couldn’t be operated on. It couldn’t be operated on by the doctor so he decided in that moment that we would treat it with radiation. Apparently the radiation worked, because according to the last scan they did, the tumor had reduced to half its original size in the period of a month. Apparently it will function and if God wants, the tumor will keep reducing. In the meantime we are doing the radiation here in Miami. The radiation on the lung was in New York and the other was here.

Anyway, as you can see, this has been one thing after another. Every time you think that you are two steps ahead you see that you are two steps behind, and you are trying to outrun the cancer. It is like being in a race and being two steps ahead of the cancer that is running behind you, catching up to you. That is how it has been the last five and a half years.

As you can imagine, I have had to stop working because the moment came when I didn’t know from one week to another, or from day to day, if they would have to operate, if I had to do radiation, or if I had to go to California or New York. On top of this the side effects of the treatments; it made my life difficult, the nausea, the sleep, the pain, the pain of surgeries of the tumors, the cancer, all made it impossible to keep working. Luckily I was able to apply for disability which has allowed us to keep doing the treatments. That and we had good insurance that treats us really well.

Living Every Moment with Open Eyes

How has this affected my life emotionally and spiritually? It has made a complete transformation in my life, in the way that I think, in my way of seeing things, in my way of seeing the world and treating my family. This is what I would say is the silver lining of it all, if there is one in all of this, it is that it has made me open my eyes and recognize the things that are important in life, the people who are important.

It has made me aware; it is like living every moment with open eyes, knowing that I am living. I don’t take a single second for granted. I don’t take a single second without thinking about what I have. This is one thing that on one side is sad, that one lives with a great deal of fear and uncertainty, not knowing what will happen. On the other side it makes one really live, really appreciate life. Not that I recommend it to anyone, unfortunately it is one of the things that make it possible to become more aware.
Finally, to conclude, I was asked if this has changed my life in any way. Of course it has. It has made things very different, but overall I give thanks to God and my family, my husband, my daughter, all that God has given to us and all that we have. Without them I would not be able to go through this all. I would not have a reason to do it. This is what gives me strength: to have family.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I like Noah's ark

I like the following 2 documentaries! I have no intention to discuss nor argue about the article because my brain is not big enough to talk about it. I like them, decided to keep in my blog and I believe in it, that's all I will say. I have faith in God!!



Tuesday, March 10, 2009


NOTE: Correct me if I am wrong on my saying in this blog!
I am not interesting to talk about current situation of Israel.

When God told Moses "to lead the Israeli to the Promise Land which will be full of Milk and Honey", Moses did it! When God said to Moses that you will see the Promise Land but you won't step on the Land", Moses did not complain, even not ask "why???" Joshua was the one entered the Promised Land with Israeli.

November 6th 2007, I landed in Tel Avis. Here I know exactly the day that I set my feet on the Holy Land. I do not know exactly when Moses was peeping the Holy Land. Well I know very little..was BC . There are some countries that I like but when I saw Israel, beyond likeness I had so much feeling and so many thinking.

Israel is a country most of it desert with not so much tree. Near Dead Sea the land scape is beautiful with very little palm trees (Actually I can count it). Seeing the soil it is very difficult to grown any plants to eat. Israel did not have much greener place mostly with dry rocky soil. Well.... there is not even fish to survive in the Dead Sea water because it is so salty!

Here let me or may I put "me" to "Our Mose's" place. As my attitude, as my big and fast mouth this will be my conversation with my God..... "Will be full of Milk and Honey??", and knowing me, as a whimper I will continue, "Dear God, I have not seen a cow nor bees..even not trees just rock. I am not sure God that I want to stay there!" See using only my brain and it is very bad. Moreover I might saying..."It's hared to make a living from the soil that I am seeing God! too many rocks!"

Touring around Israel for 6 nights and 7 days...there is plenty of food! I ate the best goat meat! veal?? Plenty of Vegetable, plenty of bakeries, and plenty of fish in the Sea of Galilee (I ate very good fried fish not very far from the sea!).....Yes there is plenty of Milk and Honey!!

I know the Israel people are choosing people but special people (in God's eyes), that I do not know. One thing I know that "God loves equal to all his children." God will taking care of his children who obey him!! How? ? Do not ask me, I do not know but I have faith!!

Professional Gigolo

NOTE: Please read my this blog as " a time to kill"!!

The "Gigolo" and the Heiress

Helg Sgarbi, the Gigolo!

I just look in the Dictionary the meaning of " Gigolo". Well I know what is gigolo but wanted to know what's the dictionary will says. It said, A man who has sex with and is supported by a woman or Male Prostitute! Aha...What an easy job for a man. He got the pleasure and he got the money too!!

I read some more about the Gig and it said..they look for only "The Rich Women". Not the little rich but they want filthy rich women. It pewt me off! So glad that I am save too! See I have no money to waste!

Lately in new or Internet, you can read about the "Swiss Gigolo and the BMW heiress". I images them to see what are they look like. The lady is look good but she looks abit of "Desperate House Wife", so much money and nothing to do with in this world beside with the Gig and the cars!

On gigolo's photo, if you allow me to say unkindly and if I am in the BMW heiress's shoes, for sure my gigolo will be not less look than "Brad Pitt"!!! With the money that She has, she can find much younger and much good looking than the gig that she had. Honestly to say, he is not the beauty at all.

The case was.... Sgarbi tried to publicise secret video recordings of the women he having sex and asking the money. One of the victim was Susanne Klatten, BMW heiress. Sgarbi is trying to get 14 € million (638 million Baht, Thai money) from her. He got 7€ which Klatten was also tricked into parting the money. Why can't that Gigolo happy with 7€ ??? Greedy is talking here!

Klatten, the heiress went to police and open the case on Sgarbi is asking for a large amount of money to return for the sex tape.

My questions are why women fall for such gigolos? Why some women who have so much money but can't find so much good love instead of gigolo's love? If your lover ask you money in such a mount, does a woman need to wake up even you are in love? Well ....buying sex?? OK ...I better stop of my curiosities!

Over all I have learned that not all easy money are happy money! These easy money can give you the trouble now or later.

Sgarbi is now facing four counts of serious fraud and two charges of attempted blackmail.

For those super rich women, please find true love but not gigolo please!! Am I judging? If yes..my sorry to you.

Monday, March 9, 2009

My Happy Face and Me

I look perfectly happy don't I? Over all yes... I am quite happy person even my insurance is going up unthinkably high and giving me, mostly to Robins, a big headache time to time.

We are paying X X X X X US$ per year because of my past sickness. I wish someone can do something this ugly Insurance Policy going up and up each year. If my Insurance Policy is not change and not kind to the policy holders, this will not kill the patient only but also mentally will kill the whole family.

Some of the Insurance Policy is just like cancer, unfortunately a very bad one which rapid spread type of cancer. How could they do that to people? The more I read, the more I know that lots of people lives short cut because they did not get proper treatment. Of course the "Money"!! Well..there are cases that load of money but die any way.

Our Insurance company increase my fee each year, the amount that you all can't think of it....WHY??? I have no answer for that beside bad policy??

In this time of the world, we all have our own problems but I can still keep my happy faces. To be fair, may be I am not working!!

Well.... no excuses folks, I do my fair share too. For my Robins to become one of the top of his field, I suffered 6 years a lone most of the time in Guatemala. When he was piloting the new farm in Belize, I was alone with the baby (maids, that I had no count because they are not emotionally not impact on me, yes they help!). I am not yakady yak yak on that but what I mean is I did my part of works.

Gen. 2:18 said, " Then the Lord God said " it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him"..(
for Robins was me, Helen!! Do you all notice that even Gay people can't stay a lone they have their own partner too???)

Gen 2:21-22 said, " God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh at the place. Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man."
(I am a Christian so I believe that Bible is the words of God! See my case..there are so many men in Aisa but why in the world a man from far far a way?? On top of that a good man with a good rib that I got!!)

Here I want to share abit more about "The Rib". Most people think that men has one less rib than women because of the the way God created the women. There is no one ward in the Bible said...." So let the man has one less bone than woman". God never mislead us...never!!! A bone doctor said "Bone also regenerate!" . So we all have equal 12 sets of bone.

Gen. 2:21 said, "God took one of man ribs and CLOSED the flesh at that place".... "CLOSED" here is mean "HEALED"!! Do you think God took a rib from Adam and without healing and let it bleed to die?? NO WAY!!! See that's why I believed that God is the best Doctor since no one doctor was born on this earth!

Happiness, somehow I can still find the way to it. I know that my life will be up and down as the rest of the people. To take it in good way, means.... in pray, in attitude, in act, in response, that's all up to me. The day that I can't help of my Insurance payment, I will see the way how to deal with it. That's later story too. I am not crossing the bridge yet!!

Have a happy day!!

"Dear God,
Thank you for the happy time. Please be with us when unhappy time is with us. In Christ name,

Friday, March 6, 2009

My beauty and Me

Here is an ugly couple but very very happy!

I read about "Cancer drug not whitener", article by Pongphon Sarnsamak from The Nation Newspaper. It said..."This cancer drug might destroy perfect healthy cells and tissues within your body."

The warning came after Dr. Pravit received lots of questions from patients about the efficacy of using the leukaemia drug to whiten the skin.

Pravit said leukaemia patients develop white spots, not a whiter complexion, form taking the drug. ..."

We human being never get enough don't we?? White want to be Black, Black want to be white and now the Yellow want to be white!!

On the beaches in Thailand, we can see the white are sun bathing till they got burned, some look like over toasted and some look like red lobsters!! Now you can see in some of Asia countries girls, they will go around with a tiny umbrella to cover their faces which is trade mark of High Society Colour!! Here if you are brown they thought you are the peasant's daughter.

If there is a wish of beauty, this will be my, Helen's beauty.....I want to be 5' 7", brown but not brownie colour, OK tan, green eyed or blue eyed, very dark dark hair, the boob size of Catherine Zeta Jone NOT Pamela Anderson size, a beautiful smile with chic and classy type! Well...I am totally opposite look of all my wishes. Then I ask to myself, Am I happy with my own look?..Yes... I am very happy. You can say Pamela Anderson has all the men. OK lets her has them. She will be the one very busy and I will be peace!! I am very happy with my own one man.

Real thinking... you can't control your own skin colour you know. May be for a short time or unless you want to look like Micheal Jackson for the rest of your life!

There a way to control your child colour though...may be a little control only. Lets say ......me, a yellow one, if I want a black or tan colour babies I should marry a black man don't I? OR if I want a yellowish white babies, I need to marry a white man. If I really really want a red colour baby with a Chinese eyes, I should marry Eskimo or Apache man!! Is make sense ha?

We all want to be beautiful..I do not know about you but I do want to be beautiful but I will stay within my limit and I won't go for bleach! I might think about face lift if I hit 60 but no tummy tuck because my mouth is on my face not on my belly. Normal People do look your face more than your others.

Well have a beautiful inside your soul and outside of your face too.

How many of us thankful for our look?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My God and Me

Lately I have seen and heard the news which are sad and unhappy.

Last night, someone called me because one of our church members finished the contract and looking forward a new job. She wanted to know that Robins, my husband can help or not!! I can't answer for that.

Then a friend came the other half way from the world to see a new things, a new place, a new life to mend his broken heart.

Come another very sad new was one of our friend lost her husband in such a horrible way. She almost lost her second son and herself too.

What are all these? Why such a horrible things happen to good people? I know very little answers from my side of views. In my God's view, I do not know because I am not God, period!! I know the man lost his job because the company is not doing well. The man's heart broken because the other party not love him anymore. I know my friend lost her husband because of a nasty anger group of people.

Some people will ask some questions if they are in those bad situations!!

Where is God I am not happy?

I thought God can do every thing, right?

How can all the wrong are with me?

Let me repeat it again. My life is like this..My mother and my father got divorce when I was barely 9 year old. My mother die of liver cancer at 42, My only one sister die of liver cancer at 31. And now I got hit by liver cancer which ending up staying with some one's liver!! Here I will tell you the truth. All those years... I have no mad at my God. I have no anger to my God. I have no looking or asking where is my God? Instead......I do pray! I beg to help me! I seek his mercy! I asked to forgive me, and I tell God that I will do good better!

My point is..there are some believers who put the trust in God more knowing how faith with action works. Others react different ways....

I read in a book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. They are clinical psychologists. They wrote .."God certainly is God and God can do any ting. "With God all things are possible" (Matt 19:26). "He rules the universe"..(Rev. 19:6).

How ever although God can, God doesn't do every thing. Here are some that God did not do......

God doesn't drive your car to the church.

God doesn't water your lawn.

God doesn't tell your Kid that you love them..."

After I read this book I see more clearly. i.e. God give me a beautiful child and to love my child is my job. God already teach me what love is. What I have to do is telling my son that I love him and show him.

I will never jump out from my 16 floor saying my God will help me. Surely I will die. I have a brain which God gives me in good purpose but to use is wisely is up to me. God seeding everything for us and we have to take care of our parts.

Bottom line you can't manipulate to God and God make it clearly too! In truth, we all will find Christ, our God!

My thought and my prayer are with my friend who lost her husband recently.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A Medical Memoir by Dr. Keith Dahlberg

The Red colour is my saying!
The Blue colour is Dr. Dahlberg saying in his book!!

I just finished reading a book calls, Bridge Ahead by Dr. Keith Dahlberg. Robins ordered it and Dr. Newman brought it to us. I like the book a lot. I really do. I feel like some one was telling me about my birth place which I remembered so little. The Dahlberg lived in Shan State from 1957 to 1962. During this time Dr. and Mrs. Dahlberg had help lots of Shan, Lahu, Kaw and Chinese people. A doctor who can live in USA and can have a good life but leave every good thing behind and looking forward to help under developing
area. I am sure and knew so because of him and his team, Keng Tung, Shan States got the best medical care on those years!

American Head Nurse, Peggy Smith who delivered me and my sister Jue Ju, was working with Dr. Dahlberg. Jue Ju was born at the Hospital which Dr. Dahlberg built. My mother was trained as a nurse by Mrs. Smith with other 2 ladies. Flash back, some Christmas that I spent at Peggy Smith's house, those Blondie girls (they are older than me), might be the Dahlberg's daughters or other American Medical Team's children.

In his book , I like to share the chapter of "Medicine and Faith".

Dr. Dahlberg wrote, " Every now and then, the newspapers report a child with some dire disease, Leukemia or diabetes perhaps-whose parent refuse medical treatment, saying they will depend on God a lone to heal the child.

If these same parent were caught with their child in the middle of raging flood, or some other natural disaster, I think that in most cases they would not hesitate to accept rescue by boat or helicopter, acknowledging that God sometime send help by way of such things in this world. It puzzles me why they might think that medicine is less a part of God' created world than a helicopter is. May be it's the way they perceive the offer, perhaps with a requirement for cash in advance, or offered with arrogance: or because someone they heard of died anyway. Be that as it may, there is a need for both faith and medicine in medical crises"

Helen said: I am so happy that Dr. Dahlberg write about medicine and faith. As we all know one day we all are going to sick may be die! Like it or not medicine is helping us on this earthly life. Mean time we all are walking in this world which is waiting for us with so many happiness, sickness, surprises and sad thing. I have seen
some people got the best treatment and die young, some people live on the mountain who are boiling leaves this and that and ...still living! OK can be reverse way too. We do need meidcine like it or not! For me surely I need the most of my God's help and still needing till the day whos know but God know.

This is what I firmly believe it and feel it... The doctors can give you the best of his knowledge and works. i.e...In my case I always pray that thank God to creating the good medicines and wonderful doctors like Dr. Hemming, Dr. Nelson, Dr. Pico and Dr. Langhan! I got treated by one of the best team of liver transplant but for that new liver to work properly in me is only God can help. There are so many unseen thing that only God can see. I do believe in medicine and I am fully believe in my God's love, mercy, miracle, and forgiveness to me. That doesn't mean that I am not going to die I am going to die one day but life after dead is another story!

I love Dr. Dahlberg said in the book..."Faith in what or whom? Some advise self-reliance ..."I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul". Others depend upon another person, a spouse perhaps, or a work partner, or a doctor or counselors trust in following the rules set down by their particular religious group. Some other s hope to be lucky.

This s a touchy subject. In matters of faith, those who claim to have all the answers often feel threatened and insecure if anyone argues against their particular interpretation. Many other people, more secure in their own faith, may suspect the person with "all the answers" has not yet addressed all the questions........

I freely admit being a follower of Jesus , even though in imperfect one. I believe in a Creator God who takes benevolent interest in each of us and who has a plan for our lives if we, in our freedom of choice, choose to trust God. That's my basic life view.....

Helen said...I like the way the thinking of Dr. Dahlberg. This is what he said about blaming God for all the bad things and causing so much suffering. Dr. Dahlberg said "Among these causes that might be remedied I see infection, injury, ignorance, greed, demand for vengeance and misguided desires or life-styles, to name a few."...

"If God exist and created the world, as Christians supposes, God is not a genie in a bottle. We do not bargain with God or order God around. If this world is God's Creation, we can choose to accept it and see to learn how best to live in it, or we can choose to be angry about it and raise our blood pressure to unhealthy levels. Rather than complain or panic when confronted with crisis, I often find it useful to ask for God's help"....

I am so happy that the way he put his faith in true English way of writing. Oh yes...I do have faith, no question on my faith but I do have problem of writing for not knowing how to write in meaningful English.

Once I wrote a letter to my American friend instead of I should write "Are you still angry at me. I am sorry!" but no joking this is I wrote to him.."If you still angry at me, I can't help but go to hell!!" I think I put my other languages into English directly. Well....... surprisingly he was not go to hell but came to me with 2 dozens of roses and we become friend again!!! Forgiveness is talking here!

This is Dr. Dahlberg talked about medicine and faith..." Some quite intelligent people believe that what I call answers to prayer are no more than coincidence. Perhaps so. My father used to remark that ..When people pray, coincidences happen more often!. (I, Helen said...How very true!). I tend to agree with him. I have seen many separate instances where something was a accomplished by several people happening to be in "the right place at the right time." (if you read his book you will understand why he said that).

In one point he said "How then is faith relevant? To me, its the infrastructure of life. It is the fiber, the substance of what we call integrity, dependability, honesty, Character. Without it, life and direction begin to wobble, become indecisive, or even collapse.

It is not faith's function to abolish all trouble, but deal with it effectively, whether by prayer or the scientific methods God provides through his servants."

I would like to say thank you very much to Dr. Dahlberg, Peggy Smith and other medical team who helped Shan States also to Thailand in later year. On behalf of Shan, Lahu, Lishu, kaw, people...Thank you very much DR. Keith Dahlberg. Thank you Ms. Smith for my mother to became a nurse!

Most of all Thank you God for sent them to a place such as far far away from modern world but the best medical care that mountain people can't imagine on those years but they got it!! God is good!!!