Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Love with conditional or unconditional

Sometime people are talking about "Unconditional Love"! I might be wrong but for me this unconditional love is a kind of "Stupid Love"! Even people who believe in this unconditionally love, do you really think that they do practice in their real life???? Hell NO! Some use it as an excusing themselves.

I practice this way! I am trying to be kind, helpful and thoughtful but do not kick me I will kick you back or I ignore it. Not Christian way to say so but why I am the one have to be Christian and why not the other round some time?

As a cancer survivor I am still reading time to time some articles written by cancer survivors about how the relationship between couple, family and friends become so strong. It did not happened to me. I am so thankful that I am still with my son but there is always problem.

This unconditional love do not work after marrying 19 years to a totally stranger. Well such love never occurred in the beginning either.

Got my new liver after that the part of taking care of this new liver is so expensive. On top of that Insurance has no mercy. They increasing each year and my stranger said this year will cost him 70,000 US$! Yes family life become condition love in such problem.

I am getting so uncomfortable to live with someone who always say something which I can't not help. Hard to become a happy person knowing that someone you live with is can't even talk normal voice but angry voice with the angry face expression most of the time. Then turned around and asking me "Why are you angry??" Yes I am discomfort with unhappy people around me.

Unconditional love does not work with me if the person is.........

-Doing things as duty or responsible but not come out sincerely from the heart.
-Doing thing behind me without let me know.
-Cheating, trying to cheat or thinking about to cheat.
-Thinking about others more than own family (this including wife, son, mother, father, brother or sister)

Sincerely I admitt it. I do not love my husband uncondtionally love. Say even IF I have it before this will never last!

Christmas is ahead actually very soon. How can I celebrate sincerely for this very special occasion for me?? I was so happy to see our church paper said, "What Christmas means to God".

-what if this year at Christmas time, we concentrated less, on the parties and the shopping that bring headaches, strain and stress?

-What if this year we'd cut back on our lights an decorations, and spend more of our energy on faithful celebration?

-What if we took some time this year to travel back in thought, to a Holy Night in Bethlehem and the peace our Savior brought?

-What if we listen carefully for the angels' song at night, and contemplate the shining star that gave the world new light?

-And what if we all followed the path the wise men trod? Perhaps we'd start to understand what Christmas means to God!

For me only Christ has unconditionally love beside....... NO ONE ON EARTH!


Max Thunderbolt said...

Great blog, Helen! Thanks for sharing your life with us. I appreciate your sincerity. We have so much to be thankful for and I think you are right, loving unconditionally is something God does and we can strive to do.

Helen said...

Hi Max thank you for your comment! After my cancer,I try to live my life simple and honest. Well I was not that bad to begin with.

Without a doubt yes... God loves me unconditionally. Without thy healing I will be dead for may be almost 5 years now.

As English is not my first language I know I can't write good. This blog is the place that I pewt out what I have in my heart.

Thanks agian,