Last Thursday (4th of September, I think??), I went to see the Gynecology and had my yearly check up. I did mm and p tests. After my P tested, I went directly to mm and Ultrasound (they told me that to get the best result, both tests are necessary!). As you know I did what ever doctor told me to do so. I like doctors!
Well...they took each side 2 pictures and sent me to the ultrasound room. The doctor came in and marked to 2 spots on the film and starting to ultrasound me. Then told me to go back to mm room to take some more pictures. That point my head starting bigger and bigger with full of "WHY?"... They took a picture each side of my tee tee again. She went to show them to the doctor but the technician came back and told me need left side one more time AGAIN!! That point I was starting to scare and asked "Why?" to the technician but she said .."Ast your dotoa kha"..mean, "Ask your doctor please!".. I knew that but can't control to bother the mm technician.
The doctor told me will call if she find something to say if not, will email on Sat or Sunday. Friday did not call so I felt good, and on Saturday I saw miss call twice. Can you imagine "how I feel the feeling of boiling in my brain"???.. I called back right a way but told me "doctor is in the operation room". I told her to call me back if not I can't sleep tonight..The nurse told me "do not worry the doctor will call you back, she calls every patients"....I go Hummmmm everyone?
On Sunday, I sang solo in the church.... the song is "Worthy is the lamb"....good meaning, good song but as you all know I can't sing like Celine Dion but I think I can do better than Rosanne, much much better! To be honest...I sang with my heart worrying about my test result...so I couldn't do it as I want to. I talk to myself.."Do I need to be in this situation all my life when every time the test comes? As I will have many tests till I die because I must do the check up often.
I realized that if I do not change my pint of living, I might die of heart attack soon but not with CANCER! or seeing the shrink soon!
Came back from the church, no wasted the time I called the doctor and she said "your P test is good your mm test is very good...See you next year". I learn one thing to day......... "Lord Jesus said ....if you have faith the size of Mustard seed, you can even move the mountain." I did not see the mountain move yet, you know why?? I am relying on my own ability most of the time instead of relying on who gave me the ability. On top of that I am still judging other!
I pray.... Lord pleasae see my heart that I am not perfect but "I LOVE YOU"!!