Sunday, October 12, 2008

The feeling of liver recipient

Every time when I pray for my liver donor, I feel some kind of feeling which I do not know exactly to put in writing. In this blog, I will try to share my feeling as much as I can in writting down. Even I am the one recipient, I feel sad. I am sad because I do have 13 year old son and my donor is 15 year old boy. I am sad because the life of the boy whose liver I received was cut short in a horrible way and being a mother, I know how she feels. Sometime I am thinking, if this is my son how could I deal with looseing such a dear part of my life.

Then I pray for that the doners parents can somehow cope with this loss. I know how painful the loss must have been for the parents because I know how I wanted to live so bad for my son when my doctor told me "You have liver cancer!". My mind was full of questions...Who's going to take care of my son? Who's going to take him to the church? Who's going to arrange his boarding shcool room? How's he going to handle of my dead?.... My mind was unrest.

I want to share the following...

Time to time I went to visit Mr and Mrs Bharvaney who lost their son in 9/11. One day of my visit..this is Mrs. Bhavaney told me..............

"Helen, The loss of my son is the most painful. There is not a day that I am not thinking about him. I have a friend who lived above of my condo. When she lost her son, I went to see her often and gave my best comfort to her. I just do my best out of my goodness but I really do not know how she feel until my own son die! I feel my world aroud me was gone. I see nothing and everything is gone"...

I feel very sorry for her. I learn one thing in my life.. How great the love of a proper mother has on her child when the day I become a mother myself! One mother can't say to another mother, " My love to my child is greater than your love of to your child!" They all equal.

As my second year of liver transplant is approaching, I think alot of my liver donor parent. As I mentioned my last blog that I haven't met them yet. If you ask me "Do I want to?"...my answer is "Yes....very much!" and I am looking that day will come before I go. I want them to see me how well I am doing with their very thoughtful present.

I want to share the following article to all of you and to the donor and recipents.

Robin, Donor mother,Tennessee


As Mother's Day draws near, I feel a sense of dread coming over me. May 13, 2001 will be 2 years since the death of my youngest son, Blake. On May 12th, Blake (15-years-old) and my older son Bryce (17-years-old) were involved in a car accident on the way to a high school soccer game.

It was a devastating time for our community and especially for our family. That evening at the hospital, we were in shock when we were told that Blake was brain dead and would not survive. Bryce was still in intensive care and was scheduled for surgery later that night. The hospital was filled with teenagers, parents and our family. The love and support all of them gave us at the time was very comforting. It was proof that Blake had touched so many lives during his short 15 years and that Bryce would have the help he needed from all of us to recover.

When asked about organ donation, we just did not know what to do. We were not educated about organ donation and had never spoken with Blake about it. After discussing this decision with our family, we knew that we had to say yes! In life Blake was such a giving person, we knew that it would have been his choice to give in order to help others. He gave his family and friends love, laughter, friendship and joy, and we knew he would want to give someone else the opportunity to have a better life.

We have recently been in contact with one recipient, and we know that Blake's other two recipients are doing fine. That gives us some comfort in knowing that a miracle has come from our tragedy.


For the past year and a half I have been involved with our local donor service to help educate the public about organ donation, especially teenagers and their parents. Making organ donation a topic about LIFE not death is very important. Blake would have died from his injuries from the accident no matter what, but others are LIVING because of his donation.

In closing, I just want to encourage everyone that has been touched in some way by organ donation, recipient or donor family, to share their story with others. By sharing my story, I may be saving the life of a friend or family member in the future if they are ever in need of an organ transplant. I may even be saving my life or yours. Plus, how would I be able to ask someone else to say YES to donating their loved one's organs if we had not said yes ourselves?

P.S. Bryce has recovered from his injuries but our whole family is still dealing with the loss of a wonderful young man. I am so very thankful for Bryce and his sister Tricia every day.

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