An Email of my friend!!!

 In this blog, I would like to share an email of my friend which sent to me.  This email made me tears and remind me to stay humble more over, to treat everyone kindly. 

I have nothing to boast beside the blessing of Christ!!

PS: As due to the respect, I did not share the writer and names in this email.

Dearest Helen,

I hope you are ready to travel by now. Well, I honestly don't know where to start my mail. I have been pondering of God's goodness in my life here in Bangkok and you are one of those people I'm blessed with. I have known you for almost six years already. Wow! how time flies can't imagine how those years have gone by.

I'm trying to recall how we met but I don't remember. We'll I'm pretty sure I have written it down in one of my notebooks just don't know which one. Now, you might be wondering where is this leading up to. I want to express my gratitude for having you as a friend and sister in Christ and on how God used you to be a blessing and an encouragement in my personal walk with God. You see I'm an emotional person I can't help shed tears when talking-heart to heart to a person specially to those who are dear to my heart. It was my desire to share what I have in my heart for a long time but just does't have the courage or maybe procrastinating. I hope this is the best time to do so.

In my first few weeks/months in Calvary, I became close to my 2 ate's then  but most of the Sunday's specially during the Sunday school I'm alone. I faithfully attended Ladies Bible study and get to know everyone who comes every Sunday as much as I can. it was a choice I made for me to grow in Faith and establish relationship with sister's in Christ from different parts of the world. I've learned a lot during those times and was broken hearted too every time I have to say goodbye to others, one of them is already home in heaven. Most of those I come to know well are much older than me. I think that is one of the reasons why they played a vital role in my life since they are more mature physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I think the first time I heard about you is during the worship when pastor mentioned about you and your physical condition. if not mistaken you wear something on your head then which i find it intriguing well, that is before pastor or you sang a solo. Sorry can't remember really well. 

Then, in the afternoons during choir practice. Those were wonderful times with everyone including you. I don't know when or how we started to become close to the point of taking a ride with you going home. You told me of your family, how you have lost your mom and sister, relationships with others specially meeting Robin, your life back then: struggles you've gone through and so on. I am surprise how I know so much about you now, well not in a very specific way but the way I see you at church and at home when we come and visit you. Knowing someone status in life is something thats affect how I treat people. I can't help it at times. Growing up in a small town where everyone knows each other has made a great impact in my life most of it in a negative way. Even my self esteem suffered...hehheh. I have developed the attitude of not getting close to people I know are rich or well-to do in the society not that i don't like them. just can't trust myself that I can keep up with the standard or be influenced by their way of life which i know mum and dad can't give. I don't want to be that high that I will learn to condemned people in a lower estate than I am scared that I will be ridiculed too for where I'm at ( which i did feel many times). In my younger days I only mingled with cousins and friends with the same status or lower because I feel I belong and which I am safe. I usually move away from people that I know are at the top in any areas...too scared to be hurt I guess.

In college, at the seminary which is in Manila, I gained confidence because of the influence of friends and classmates and of course surrounded with Christian people. Well, I was a working student then at school during my 1st and 2nd year. I can say "I survived" by God's grace. I became a part of a singing team all the years I stayed there. I traveled once during the summer after my 1st year down south of the Philippines and that was the farthest place I've visited. It was a wonderful experience to sing for God with the team and God's way of helping/teaching me to be exposed in different culture, language, food, lifestyle and of course enjoy God's wonderful Creation in other parts of Phil. There I met people/families with poor, middle and high class status which are one body in Christ. At times I asked God why don't I have the kind of life where I don't have to work, worry and at times felt ashamed to tell them about my family or what kind of life we have back home. I envy people that has too much in life financially...but then I don't want to exert too much effort to be one of them I just settle for enough (not much but at least better than nothing) attitude. Well, I think I still carry that attitude till now or maybe not....hehheh not sure!!!

Another 2 years in seminary I stayed with a missionary lady who supports by having students by helping her in doing her chores it wasn't a hard work compared to the work I have in the campus at sem. I stay out of the dorm too and at least I can stay in a house which makes it more great. Ms. Ann Young is the lady I stayed with she is from Maine ( a single missionary lady). She taught me a lot about life as much as she can. Small and big things which i didn't appreciate then but as I am getting older I become more thankful of God for letting me know this lady.

Now, let me say something I've learned about you. I know that financially you are able maybe more than what I can imagine. It was a decision I made long time back not to really know how high or low the person I met because I'm pretty sure ti will affect my relationship with them in someway. By the way, It wasn't my intention to get that close to you to be honest but you we're too nice to come and say hi, every time we see each other at church and can't take No as an answer anytime you asked to ride with you. I'm not sure if you felt my hesitant reaction then. You were so persistent about something or I say you are too generous to help if you know you can. I really appreciate that very much. I saw something in you that makes me wonder how God has shaped you into a woman you are now. Listening to your testimonies of how you've gone through difficulties in life: losing your mom, sister, brother and even you still struggling with health. I hope I can understand and really know and see what you have gone through but i'm sure I couldn't handle it too. All I see now is the result of God's goodness, faithfulness, greatness and His being God. Thank you for sharing those moments in your life that helps me to keep my feet on the ground and to know what really matters in life or to value life. I am more humbled by the company you keep at church (us) specially me. You have so much in life more than what we have but that didn't hinder you to be part of us. You kept your feet on the ground by looking back to your humble beginning too and that's something that i salute you for. There are only few people who chose to be down to earth that are in the same position with you, some don't even want to look back where they come from. I might have gone to the same position if I had the privilege to be there too and thank God I'm not. Well' at times I wonder what would my life be if I'm at the top..We'll I might not like it though specially when I don't have God with me.

I thank God for you and your family that you become part of our life here in Bangkok. Keep -up the good work Helen. Thank you for sharing the pain that I have gone through these past days or maybe months and even those good times too. Don't you know that you are the only one who gave me an advise to stand with whatever XX and I decide because you know more of foreign culture than I did. Sad to say XX didn't have the courage to stand for it. I guess you we're more afraid of where I'm at that time than I do. I have felt your deep concern when you asked me about his family not even once but few times I'm sure you want to know that I will be fine and I'm so thankful for that. Thank you too for encouraging advise and for volunteering in helping financially when the time comes that I will get married..hehheh Thank you thank you so much and God bless

I didn't intend to write this long but I guess it helps somehow to get your feelings out sometime. this doesn't happen all the time..hehhe I didn't know why I shared what I wrote but maybe its for a good  reason and sorry if much of your time be spent just for reading it.

I hope and Pray that you will have a safe travel with Shawn to Europe and to the States. Have a wonderful time and enjoy God's creation as you reflect who He is in His creation. God bless and see you again when you get back on November. Thanks for the special treat last Sunday it was memorable and is worth to keep.

Love and pray,

XXXXXX

Devils

I am so busy to blog these days. Seen to me each day I am busy with each new thing but I had picked a new blog to write about "Devils".. Coming soon! I will blog this before I am leaving to USA.  All the best to my readers!!

Sweet for my Sweet... Sugar for my honey!

The month of June 2013, my son was in south America for Intensive Study for Spanish language.  My son was born in Guatemala, a country which will be a part of our family.  I like Guatemala a lot.

"Agua"..., is my son's first Spanish spoken of his life!  I always hired his nanny only who does not speak English for the purpose of my son to speak another language.  I think I did it well. My son does speak Spanish and some writing.

On 25th 2013, my son flew out the schedule of Argentina -Washington DC -  Frankfurt-Bangkok.  Yes such a long flight but he came out from the plane like a sun flower full of watered in Bangkok's airport. 

Well,  let me share you this about sweet people around the world. 

Last time we spoke to my son was at Washington DC's airport and after that we can't connected with him on Skype.  I was starting to worry.  We track his plane down on computer so we knew that the plane was landed in Frankfurt safely. 

So I decided to call Thai Airways in Germany and  I spoke with a very nice Thai lady there.  I told her that I concerned about my son was check in or not.  She was very nice and understanding of my worry.  I also told her that my son is flying a long flight and wanted to know that he is check in the part of Frankfurt to Bangkok. Let me tell you this..... yes, the Thai lady asked me who I am, what is my son's name and the flight number!!!! Isn't she sweet??

The Thai lady gave me the number of Thai Airway lounge in Frankfurt and said, by law she can't give the phone number out for the security but she understand my worry.  The Thai airway is using Lufthansa lounge as Thai Lounge by agreement of between the two I guess.  The reason of the Thai lady so kind to me was.. as my son is not 18 yet, and also he was on such a long flight already!!!  Put it this way..... The Thai lady was SWEET!

I rang the phone at the Lufthansa/ Thai airway lounge and a German lady answered with the voice of similar to Hitler.  I said,  "I need your help, please check for me that my son XXXX XXXX is checking in or not?"  and she answered with the Nazi voice and said, "Madame by law we can't give out any information about the passenger!'  Then I told her, "Yes I understand it.  I am the mother of XXXX  XXXX and he was already such a long flight from Argentinaaaaa......"

My talking was not finished yet but she cut me off with the rude voice.  So I told her, "Do you have 17 year old son? Who travelling alone so long?"  She answered again with the mocking voice, "Yes I do have a 17 years old and I am not the care person of your son." and hung up abruptly.

I was so mad at this UNSWEET woman and I rang it again from Bangkok to Frankfurt and said to her with very loud voice, "Look, if you have 17 years old you better understand it." Then She said, "You are very rude and you did not tell me the name nor the flight!"  That point my blood boiled and said, "Did you ask me the name and the flight number? You keep telling me can't give the information out??" and she said, "This conversation is finished"!! Bangggggggggggggg hung up the phone.

Do you all know that there is a wired air traveler law. If your child is under 12, they consider as a minor traveler and the airline taking care of them for you.  Then over 18 years old they said adult!!! So I used to ask that how about between 12 to 18 years old?  No one can't tell me exactly the answer.  So I would ask to myself that Are they bustards air travelers??? Stupid law?????

I do respect the airline law but where is the proper conversation between the two of us??? Remember I am the one needed the help so I was sweet till she stirred up with the lemon!!!!

This woman is working may be 8 hours for just answering the phones... boring job?  I have no idea but I will be in Frankfurt lounge very soon and will fine out what her face looks like. 

LIFE!!! Lets us sweet with Sugar.

Extremist Believers!

You all know that I am a Christian and a child of GOD.  I am not Extremist Christian but I know for sure that I am faithful to Christ's and who loves Jesus.  I am a believer who makes mistakes time to time too. So forgive me if you think my this blog make you lots of questions.

On my last trip to Laos, we visited some Pagodas. In our group, 2 are Buddhists,  one is...,  do not know who he is yet but born in Buddhist family, and 4 Christians.  When we arrived at the pagodas, 2 of Christians women refused to get into the compound saying, they do not want to get into because they said they have nothing to do with it. They waited us in the tourist van.

Me and the other Christian, we went with the Buddhists and see the views which is gorgeous. La Mirador (in Spanish, a place to look the view, in this case river, tree, fields and mountains), this spot was attached in the pagoda.  After saw some views, I walked back to the mini van. In the Car I asked many questions to myself that is this sinful just tour around different places without bow down and worshipping??? Inside my heart I know who I am though.

SAWADEE is a kind of hello for Thai people with 2 hands fold. For me this is nothing to do with religion beside RESPECT each other. Yes I did sawadee too.  I have seen some Christians refused to do so.  Why? I have no idea and never ask.

I got invitation from my neighbor, they are a lovely Muslim family and many times I went to eat with them. Talking about it, I got invitation on coming Wednesday to celebrate Aboo's  birthday. Yes all their meat have to be Halal food by their faith.  Do I care?  No I don't and I eat with them. Why?  I know who I am and who is my savior.

I read my daily Bible share from my phone and today was.....,

"Be wise in the way you act toward those who are not believers, making good use of every opportunity you have.  Your speech should always be pleasant and interesting, and you should know how to give the right answer to everyone."  Colossians 4:5-6

I do not have 2 Masters and I pray that never be. 

May I ask you all to one question.   God said to us, "Love your neighbor!" Right?  Who is your neighbors???

And... God said, "Thou Shall Not Judge!" Right?

Love to you all. By the way heading to Chaing Mai and will be there a couple of days.

I love you my Christ. Thank you for healing me.  Thank you so much. 

Hate your father and mother!

Went to the church with my husband yesterday. 

The pastor's bible picked was Luck 14:25-35 which started with, "Hate your father and mother......." on Father's day.  I got the smile tough.  When I was young, say my teenage years, every time when I read this bible verse, I was thinking how could a very loving God said such thing.  Later days I got the right track or the real meaning of  "Hate your father and mother!'

Let me flash back about my father and my mother a bit here.  As I did mention in one of my very old old blogs...., "I was NOT a planned child, I was a child of two, a very young couple who did not know what they are doing and here I came out."  Thanks God that I see how the earth and earthly looks like. Most of it, the day I become a mother to my only child.

My father was only 18 or 19 years old and mom was just a baby had had a baby when she was not even 16 yet.  I saw the first light of the creation when both of my parent were so young.

Of course that young couple did not make it to, "Till Dead Part!"  They divorced when I was......, may be 9? Not sure though but I remember I was very young. 

My father remarried to a shan lady and my mom also started a new life.  Me and my baby sister were so suffered.  I did not know much about parent love till I have my own son who I dearly love.  Then I realized that even my parent were not there with me and my sister, for sure they love us.

In the beginning, the more both of my parent were busy with their new lives, the more I felt so neglected.  I did not like them.  One point I would say I almost HATE my parent. My love was more to my sister than my parent. 

Now back to the bible pick!  The central thought was this.........., as our pastor explain.  "The relationships (and everything else in my life must daily pass the test of Jesus-priority and Jesus-usability.  Do our relationships move us toward or a way from Jesus?"

Do I pass the test? Without a lie I will answer, NO!

I said NO because sometime, actually most of the time I put my daily life, my worry, my health, my happiness, my content, my food, my shopping and my material life before my faith.  I was using the brain that God provides me but forgot that who put this brain in my head!!

What I have to do is put faith in the hands of my GOD first and then act accordingly with my brain!!!

My disliked to my parent is nothing to do with our Christ said, "Hate your father and mother."  What Christ mean is...., "nothing is important than following our Christ teaching!"

In Ten commandments, our GOD said it clearly......, "Thou shall honor your parent".  So important that God wants us to honor our parent.  Even more, Christ said, "Love your neighbor" . Yes, without a doubt my GOD is a loving GOD!!!

Yesterday in the Church, I got more clearly about the deep meaning of.. "Hate your father and mother!"  Thank you Pastor!!!

Happy father day to you all!!

One day in 3 countries

2 weeks ago I visited Golden Triangle with a young couple from Gainesville, a lady from Singapore, a Rangoon man, 2 Chinese ladies and Me!

Being there before. Used to be a lovely place, so greenery and very relaxing.  The great Mae Kong river runs through to 3 countries but now become so much tourist attraction center and many vendors are all over. Actually a kind of ugly place with no well organize it.  Now this place is not like before anymore.  Somehow I understand it. No one can't live longer with empty belly.

Each country (Thai, Laos and Burma),  has own immigration center but I doubt it everyone go through the office in that Golden Triangle. HERE the story which I wanted to share is.................,

The husband and wife from Gainesville, they are a young couple and the husband loves to do what ever news to him.  The Singapore woman has the Resident card with Burmese passport, the Rangoon man and one lady has permition to visit to the Golden Triangle from Thai authority, the young couple and another lady are US green card holders with Burmese passports.  Of course I do have the US passport with 2 years multiple visa of Thailand.  Remember I am the great yellow US citizen and I love every minutes of it. Love to be an American.

When we arrived at the triangle, many small boats runners approached to us to rent their boats to visit 3 countries in one day.  So I told the group, ok lets go to the Thai Immigration office to get the visas to go to Laos and Burma (we all were at the Thailand side).  The boat man giggled to dead and said to us that we no need to get the visas and they will take care of us for not arresting,  either Laos side or Thailand.  Said, grantee!!!  Moreover he offered us 1 hour to visit and shopping in Laos!

Of course I will not get arrest in Thailand because I do have 2 years visa but I have no Laos visa and I do not trust the boat driver.  I do not like the way his face expression and the boat owner's giggling.  How could it happen if the driver left us in Laos river bank?  Any things can be happened in that part of the world. Trust me on that please.   And..... the river is so wide in Golden triangle and I can't swim far either. I am NOT a good swimmer and I was a bit chicken out!!

I turned my head to all of them and said (in Thai), that I am not going THEREs, with my finger point it at to Laos and Burma.  I was firm that I am not going there without VISAs. I was/am thinking as a big city woman ways,  there is the right ways to do so.  I also said to myself, I am not going to end up in Laos nor Burmese jails . Can you imagine??? Hell NO!!  

Then the Singaporean woman said to all of us, if I, Helen is not going, she is not going either.  Singapore government teaches well to the Singaporeans.  That point, the rest of the group and the boat man getting upset as I was the party pooper.

The boat man and the young Gainesville guy, I can see their faces turned into like, hitting by the fart bombs.  Of course I knew, the boat man wanted the 500 baths for the renting, the young guy had the ants in his pants to see Laos and the Burma without visas. Dare to do age???

Then the boat man told me to stand by the bank and to study well that how he runs the boats Business.  He was yelling at me in English.. look, see, look, see. Of course I got the point what he means. He wanted me to understand look, see and go!!

To my amazing...., many boats were in lines and you name it white, black, yellow and orange (red neck), people (tourists), were getting in and out from his boats. His kinds of boats were running all over the Mae Kong river like ants swimming in the river.  Plenty!!!!  I mean lots of boats. I guess he is the boats mafia who gives enough money to both sides to run his boats freely in the river. Sure it???

Then I saw an American couple, Finland couple, more white dudes came out of the boat, that point I said to myself, looked like ok to do so. 

I asked the boat man where is the toilet? he pointed me a place.  I went in, took out my beloved US passport, tucked into my tight underwear.  I lefted only Thai Driver license and Florida License in my purse in case someone ask me the ID. 

The heat were so strong on that day... I was sweat like a pig.  My sweating was running through to my passport which I thought I safely hided in my underwear.  When the trip was over, my passport was so sweat that I had to expose it to the sun!!!!

I will say.... the different ways of running in the different country! and learn it that on this earth some places are running without government.

Yes.. I did it in one day to 3 countries. Am I enjoyed it? 
Not that much but I could say 50/50.

Helen on blog agian

Getting tired!  I was running all over..... selling my summer house at up north, seeing my grandmother who is 97, seeing my father who is turning 70 this year. 

Then I am leaving to USA soon as need to see my son's future college.  Can you believe it? My son is going to college.  This year I really feel getting old even most of the people is saying..... I look young.  Well Asian women do look younger than their age. 

My health... yes doctors are directing me to change my Hepsera to another kind of medicine because Hepsera is not good on my kidney if taking so long.  In my case, now almost 7 years with Hepsera.   Well I am 7 years far out of living with new liver too.  OH yes NO complain at all. Will do what ever my doctors are telling me to do so.

Blessing!!!  Yes indeed.  I thought I was dying 7 years ago when doctor told me I had huge tumor in my right sight of my liver.  That dying thought was the history now as I am still living with full of travelling, seeing friends and still with my family.

To all my blog readers may I request you this...., please put me in your prayers.  In Christ I trust and I will live my life with believing in my God till I depart from this world. 

May I share this from the upper room which I read last night. 

"I think no believer should judge the faithfulness or religious sensibility of others- the way they read the Bible, the way they pray, whether or not they go to Church. 

Scripture teaches that God, not humans, will decide who enters the kingdom.  While it is up to us to witness to our faith in Christ through our behavior, it is not ours to judge what's in another's heart.  Only God can do that."

After I read that I felt guilty because sometime I still do judge others and mad at others.  I did!!

-I was judging a lady who always look unfriendly even she is a Christian.
-I was judging my sister in law who living in my apartment in Rangoon  for free and joked about that she can sale my apartment under the Burmese laws!
-I was very mad at a woman who I found out lies and talk to me like I have no brain.
-I am sad to see our Choir group was now different churches.
-I was judging to a Church that why is this and why is that?

I even mad at my husband who accused me that I can't get along with his worker!!

Today service, the Pastor said this.......................
"We are so worry, so concern, so busy and the problem with this worry are so big that we can't see any things more even NOT realize that Christ become so small in our life!!"

I got the point!!!! Do you???

I honestly admit it here.  I still do not know how to handle those who make me mad and those keep lieing around me.  I might be still fighting back.  One thing I have to make sure is.... I will never let my Christ become so small in my life!! I will try my best so help me in prayers.

I love you my Christ.