Monday, June 20, 2011


Where am I going to start?

OK back to 6 weeks ago I was in up north picked up my grand mother who was very sick by the earthquake. She was 7 days straight to the hospital for injection because of not eating, was keep saying, "I am dying!"

Took her back to Chiang Mai. I had to stop there for awhile again because she was in the hospital for a day. Vomiting from both sides end. After all that, we were resting in the hotel for 4 nights and then flew her into Bangkok. Fed her, taking care of her and then yearly check up in Samitivij Hospital. Guess what? She is healthy like a hog.

Nothing wrong or bad in her body. God bless and so thankful! For 95 years old lady who never ever been to the Gynecologist nor any specialist doctors, this is very good. Sometime the gift of God is beyound my understanding. Tell me if this is not a blessing for us who we said, we are Christians???

Now me.

I was busy running after my grand mother and then back to Bangkok ran to do my routing blood work. Bad news, my liver enzine height up. My ALP, AST and ALT were triple up! Strange though I look good and nothing look wrong. The doctor said, "You are having acute rejection." Freak me out!!!

I do not understand well but I did understand what is "rejection" is. Of course I was sooooo scare. Then doctor told me I am very lucky because I did not turn in to Yellow!

The doctor put me Predisone which I calls "Crazy Medicine". How crazy? You can only know when you are taking it or them. The doctor said, my body suddenly recognize that I have foreign organ. Well I do not feel as foreign organ but for sure every day I know there is something originally not from me.

Let me tell you something about this Predisone.

My son has this very annoying attitude which is when he comes home he takes off his socks and throw into the air. The socks can be landed all over my TV room with this smelly odor. Well before I can ignore it as the maids help me to pick up.

But last week as I am on Predisone, without a blink I pick up the ruler and smash him in the back for the reason of smelly socks. I felt so horrible because which I did not do nor behave like this at all. Then I was crying and apologizing to my son.

Then the other one is, one night I wake up like short of oxygen. Strange dreamed that King David said he has to stay in my body!!! Can you believe it?? Yes believe it. You never have such dream in your life but Predisone can give you the most wired dream you never face it before.

Now for a month I am doing blood work every 4 days and my last lab result was the best. Under control!!!

Sometime I do have the following questions to myself.

-How I am going live my life without fear? Mean this the word of LIVER TRANPLANT PATIENT?

-How could I face if the cancer is return?

-Do we all die one day, don't we?

-Why I can't never go back to the old HELEN who is very happy person?

-I do not want to take all these medicine anymore and can I? NO!!

-Oh so many questions???????????

Then when all these crazy thought comes I just said,

"Depend on the Lord and his strength; always go to him for help. Remember the miracles he has done;remember his wonders and his decisions."

Psalm 105:4-5

Live move on. I know what is right and worng for me.
Thanks God that I am still with Robins and Shan.

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