6 months due check up

Say, you got told that you have tumor in your liver and found out that the type of tumor is the deadly "Cancer". I have some questions and here they are...

-What do you feel?
-What will you do?
-What are you mostly will thinking about?

Honestly, I want to know and tell me please what do you think that what you are going to feel?

Let me share with you this (as a liver cancer survivor), ...........

"You will never know the real feeling of having Cancer unless you are one of them!"

NO matter how much you say that you understand what or how the cancer patients are feeling unless you are in the same boat then........ you will know the TRUE feeling of the cancer patients. Trust me on that!! I've been there and never want to go back.

I faced 2 big liver surgeries. Now I am cancer free for 4 years. Even 4 years of cancer free, when the big test day is dued..... I feel scare. My most concern is, if the result is bad how I am going to tell Robins and Shan. The month before my due date I am starting to face sleepless and so many thinking come acrossed all over your head.

-I do not want to die because I still want to be with people who I love!

-I want to see my son's wife .

-I am worry that if I am gone what Robins is going to do.

-Who will go to see my grand mother.

-Who is going to send some money, some time to help my 2 step brothers. Live in Burma no job and no income!!

-Who is going to give my son's vitamin.

-I want to see what my son is going to be.. a doctor, a movie star or toilet cleaner??? who's know??...........list go on!!!!!!

Today is my 6 months big check up day!!! Wake up 7 am and went to the hospital. The lab nurse withdraw my blood and then took me to do the Ultrasound room. My US doctor said I can do MRI once a year now on and my last MRI was at Shand Hospital, UF in July.

At 820 am, I was laying down on the nice clean bed in the hospital with the feeling of "the whole world is sitting on top of me". I felt so heavy in my heart. After 10 minutes here came a doctor and a nurse to roll the thingy on all over my liver.

There is an extra screen right in front of my face to see what they are seeing. I looked at it the first 2 minutes but after that I closed my eyes tight because I do not know what I am seeing and I can't take it any more!

In the first 2 minutes before I shut my eyes, what I saw was full of spots. Just spots and spots and spots. It took only 15 minutes and the job was done.

Went down to the coffee shop, relax abit and walked straight to the doctor's office to read the results. I said a very shot prayer........
"Not my will, thy will be done. Amen!"

The doctor greeted me ..."Hello how are you, sit down." Then he opened his computer and showed me all my internal organs page by page. "All clean and uneventful!!!"

Right in front of my doctor I fold my hands, looked up and said......,
"Thank you Jesus Christ!" I really do. For me I say again, to walk on this earthly world as a liver transplant recipient, without Christ is impossible.

"The doctors operated and put the liver into my body and Christ is the only one who make this liver working and staying with me for 4 years now !!!!"